Showing posts with label Desire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Desire. Show all posts

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Looking for a Few Good Men!

And when I say a few good men, it would be nice to have a few to choose from! My definition of a man is a male over 40! Until then they are 'boys' in training. There are always exceptions to that definition. I've met a few that stray far from it. Mature beyond their years. Others I've known never break through training camp! Being that 'older' women have been the rage for a while I've had my moments of enjoying the attention of a younger man. I do enjoy looking at them and when I find one I like, playing with them...but the attraction wanes quickly for I yearn for the maturity of a man.

A man who understands his own sexuality. Comfortable in his skin. Full of wonder, awe and adventure. Understands that 'cock into pussy' is not the ultimate goal! That there are many mile stones of pleasure along the way. A man who has learned the road map of a woman's body and especially the woman he now desires. A man that is open and responsive to my definition of pleasure.

Newbies in D/s and younger men have become my 'Kryptonite'. They drain me with their inability to commit to a decision. To follow through with their words and think thoroughly through promises before speaking them. Their excitement and enthusiasm can be contagious as adrenalin pumps through their brain and cock. I take the risk, because hell why not...look at them! But the disappointment in their inability to pull the trigger on their own wants and desires has left a bad taste in my mouth.

So in the effort to keep my heart from becoming jaded I'm swearing off men under 40! To clarify: Those who I have a personal face to face, R/L connection with. In wisdom I should probably cut it off at 50...but men are just starting to come into their own in their 40's! I'm not turning my back on that. But I am swearing off newbies of ALL ages! Just no patience for them! Damn! A woman just wants to have what she wants without the damn drama! I don't want to 'break' someone in; explain about my kinks and help them discover theirs.

I want men that are well versed in their dark ways and have a desire to discover how their demons play well with mine.

So where are the healthy, intelligent, adventurous, handsome, physically fit, mature dark souls that won't run from but to my dark playhouse?

Looking for a Few Good Men.


Yes!  Put the young ones behind glass to enjoy until they reach 40! 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Finding You Beside Me....


It had been a restless night. The pattern of sleeping alone suddenly disturbed by any minor movements of your body next to me. The intensity of our relationship over the several months since we had met was still swirling through my being leaving trails of questions mixed with arousal on how long would the fire between us burn. "Hush", you would whispered to me at any sign of doubt rising. "Hush, baby, hush", you whispered in my ear and kissed your way back to my questioning mouth. "Hush". Then drawing me tighter into yourself.

Throughout the night I felt you reaching for me, your hands grasping at my breast as you wrapped yourself around me...enclosing me in your desires. Me whispering in your ear, "I want you sleeping inside me."; my words awakening your body to fulfill my hunger for you. Your cock slipping between my legs and finding it's home inside me once again. Me remembering as I back up into your warm body that only a few hours before it was you backing up against me as I took that beautiful ass of yours again.

And now morning has crept into our room threatening to shorten our time together. I slowly rise out of bed so not to disturb you. You continue to sleep in peace. I watch the shadows form and move over you lying naked, sunlight peering through the blinds. I study your half open sleepy mouth and smile at how it lavishly poured out attention from my neck, to my shoulders, breasts, hips and finally along my inner thighs until I pushed your head into me and felt that wet mouth and tongue pressing once more against my pussy. I memorize every part of you as my mouth starts to water and my need to taste you rises to cloud my judgement.

You shift in the bed and reach for me, eyes half open, "Baby?"

"Hush". I respond sliding in beside you. My hand finding it's way to your semi hard cock and warm balls. I wrap my hand around them and gently tug. "Hush, baby. Hush."

Morning can wait.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Waking up Sleepy

Sometimes the lack of sleep can be a joyful occurrence when the reason for it is your partner has been fondling you all night. Groping whether he's awake or half a sleep; reaching for your body to touch and feel your warmth pulled against him. His hands making paths along your waist, outer thighs, then slipping in between them to fondle the warm lips that are waiting between your legs. It's a comfort for him to know you are there, still hungry for him even in your sleep. To know that when he turns your body to meet his it awakens your need to feel his skin against yours.  To reach inside you and know that he can still arouse your desire even when you slumber. You stir and move closer and press into his touch. Automatically your juices start to flow in preparation for more of him. His mouth nestles into your neck, his breath tickling your nerve endings, his voice whispering in your ear, "...more please....".

I love waking up sleepy.

More Please......

Sunday, March 2, 2014

To Torture a Man......



Give me a man whose eyes truly reveal the windows of his soul.  Eyes that betray and expose the need that lives deep in the woven fiber of his being. His beauty is in the offering of his desire to search out and learn every touch and stroke that arouses me. To become an expert on the landscape of my body; it's needs, sensitive zones of pleasure and become drunk with it's arousal.

In turn he becomes addicted to my touch, my smell, my kiss, my voice and the look in my eyes. As his body becomes an instrument I play for our joint pleasure, he becomes vulnerable and releases secrets long hidden from others. Words are whispered from his lips he never thought he'd hear himself say. Sometimes tears form and continue to fall from relieved eyes as he feels my caress and soothing voice encouraging him to go further in the revelation. He holds me tighter in his arms as he realizes the place of vulnerability I've led him to. I remind him he's safe with me. His secrets are safe and that together we'll explore every dark corner to find what can stay and what must go. And he knows beneath it all I'll use his truth to heighten our journey.



Thursday, January 23, 2014

Sexual Compatibility!

No matter what the relationship is: Vanilla, F/m, M/f, M/s, BDSM, D/s or any gender blend; what holds a relationship together as a foundation is friendship. Enjoying the company of the other person, even if you're just 'hanging out' doing nothing special at all. You just enjoy their company. You feel relaxed and yourself in their presence. Laughter comes easy and you are blissfully unaware of any insecurities, weaknesses and failures you may have of yourself. Mix this with sexual compatibility and you have something priceless! Friendship is the foundation but sexual compatibility is an important building block that determines how high that fortress you are building goes.

The nurturing, trust and openness that comes from a strong friendship clears the way for communication that exposes all the dark and suppressed secrets. Here is where sexual compatibility is discovered and a beautiful journey begins that can last for many years.

I know of so many couples, especially married couples, that stay together for children or financial reasons but have found that they are not sexually compatible and at least one, if not both people, are lonely and suffering in the same house. I have been there and it is the loneliest of existence. So with experience under my belt I have learned and am determined in my soul to not find myself in that situation again.  The only way to ensure that is to live an honest and authentic life.

Two people meet and lust colors their attraction and sometimes out of fear of losing the other one agrees and goes along with their wants and desires or the other holds back on revealing their wants and desires out of fear of turning the other away. Fear of revealing our true nature will eventually destroy any intimacy that has developed. Compromising our sexual needs, desires and thinking 'love' is enough will eventually leave you thirsty and hungry for what you have been denied. You are no longer validated as important.  Your voice and needs remain unheard, unmet.

We must know ourselves and be honest with ourselves and others.  It's just not worth it to hide out of fear of discovery!  Your peace, happiness and fulfillment are yours to have. Live fully as the person you were meant to be.

If you're in a committed relationship already that is unsatisfying I'm not saying to abandon the ship! You have chosen your path and need to own up to it and live it out.  But if ever given the opportunity again to live according to the truth of who you are, then do it!  Until then, be honest with the partner you have and try to make it work in all transparency.

To those who are single.... Don't ever settle. The worst thing in life is to end up with someone who makes you feel alone. It's better to be alone and true to yourself than to live half of a life. I believe that once you know who you are and what you want, that the laws of attraction kick in and bring those of the same desires into your life.

I am hopeful for the future. We are all wired sexually in a unique way. It's the magic of finding those who are wired in a complementary way that brings the level of intimacy that I at least must have! I'm a passionate soul and must have that returned in a partner, plus much more! I love this saying below.  Intimacy born out of knowing and full surrender... Mmmmmmmmm




Saturday, November 16, 2013

Saturday Eye Candy!

To celebrate Saturdays and that we all need a diversion or two, here are a few of my a favorite Eye Candy today from my tumblr site! http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/

As I go through my week enjoying my Tumblr page I'm always looking out for what I think would make wonderful Eye Candy!  I know my life is entering into another transition stage.  I can feel it in my bones. There is some sadness....NB has fallen into an emotional state that doesn't fair well with who we are and have been as a couple. Maybe things would be different if we lived closer, but then again, being apart helps me in being able to move forward without running to his side.

And then there is excitement at what may be ahead in my future. I have some ideas and plans I'm personally working towards. And if another primary turns up in my life... I damn hope he's local!!! ;) At least not states away!!!!

To fight the sadness that lurks around the corners of my soul, I find solace in my pics for today's Eye Candy!

This... I need to feel this hunger from a man again!


I find this pic beautiful and peaceful...love staring at him. 



I also love some meat and muscle on my men. Not too skinny. I need to feel their strength!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Saturday Eye Candy!

To celebrate Saturdays and that we all need a diversion or two, here are a few of my a favorite Eye Candy today from my tumblr site! http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/

I know I'm late getting this out today.  Had to work and some personal things going on with the family etc.... But enjoy the Eye Candy!  Damn nice it is!!!!





Saturday, June 29, 2013

Saturday Eye Candy!


To celebrate Saturdays and that we all need a diversion or two, here are a few of my a favorite Eye Candy today from my tumblr site! http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/

Beautiful.....


Lovely to look at ...... touch... examine....


Taking care to arrive pressed and ready......

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Saturday Eye Candy!


To celebrate Saturdays and that we all need a diversion or two, here are a few of my a favorite Eye Candy today from my tumblr site! http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/

Oh... Did I wake you?  


Mature men always deserve a spot here... :)


That look..... Mmmmmmm

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Saturday Eye Candy!

To celebrate Saturdays and that we all need a diversion or two, here are a few of my a favorite Eye Candy today from my tumblr site! http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/

Still Saturday here on the West Coast!  Happy Mother's Day to those who find this on Sunday!  ;) Yummy bad boys!  At your service!







Friday, March 22, 2013

Secret Paths and Dark Shadows

Vulnerability, openness, raw communication and honesty. Some of the paths to intimacy. Emotions shared that run so deep that they cut your breath and make your heart tremble while you recount their details. Emotions and visions etched in your mind, heart and soul, birthed in childhood trauma, formed and rooted in your thoughts and sexual drive.  Thoughts so dark you've kept them to yourself and wore a mask most of your life, looking for that safe place to reveal your true identity. Who would love you if they knew you were not the man you presented to the world. If they knew the visions that sent blood rushing to your cock, your skin breaking out in a cold sweat and heat filling you with desire.  Nothing illegal, just thoughts not accepted by those who surround your everyday life.  You go through life carrying these dark shadows, wondering if there is anyone to walk the secrets paths with you, hold your hand as together you face those shadows one by one. Then when you thought it could never be, she is there. 

Her words shine a light into your darkness and she draws you close with her scent. You share, a little at first, then with each revealing and her acceptance you reveal more until you find yourself heady and walking down the secrets paths with her by your side. She draws you closer to her warmth and you both take steps toward shadows you've never shared. Mixed emotions start to fill your heart. Fear that you may walk into the darkness and lose your way.  Fear that ahead is a bottomless abyss, the same one that calls out to you in the night. Fear that you'll like the darkness and not want to go back.  But also hope that you've found the one who will walk with you and share in your fears, open your thoughts and share in your desires. 

Amazement starts to fill your being as you find the depth of the shadows to be much deeper than you had imagined as she leads you along the way.  It's the safety in her arms, her touch, her intoxicating aroma and her words that give you courage to explore it's depths.  The power she seems to hold over you, to take you to places you feared to acknowledge even existed.  But they were there, always living in your dreams. You feel her strength take your hand and you are led down those secrets paths, toward those dark shadows and are no longer afraid. You feel the false identities fall away, and in her presence you find peace. All of your unconventional ways and needs unconditionally accepted by this woman who sees right through you, instinctively knows you and still loves you.  In fact she needs you ... just the way you are. For you have shed a light upon her secret paths and exposed her own hidden dark shadows. 

Together you have found stability.  Together life has more meaning.  Confidence and courage have replaced uncertainty and doubt. Passion has taken on new meaning and intimacy finally has a form.



Friday, February 22, 2013

The Sound of His Voice

There is nothing more erotic to me and switches me from a non sexual mood to feeling the moisture starting to accumulate between my legs, then to hear the voice of a very masculine, alpha male who is in charge and in control throughout the day, slipping from that strength into a submissive, vulnerable surrender. And when the man who owns that voice is one you know so well intimately, the change can happen in a matter of mere minutes because you know just what to say to trigger his deepest need.

I've heard NB's voice calm and also stern and authoritative. I've heard him talk with clients, associates, family and servers in a restaurant  It's a confident, assured voice.  One people listen to and are sometimes entertained with.  I know his voice well.  But the voice I love the most, is the one only I hear.  His submissive voice. That one belongs to me and speaks volumes of our bond.

It's a quiet, soft and humble voice.  It speaks of surrender and respect for who we are as a couple. It's bathed in our passion and his knowledge that he has exposed himself to me in the most intimate of ways and the thought of how I know and understand him leaves him vulnerable and transparent in my sight. The simple word, "yes" leaving his lips is pregnant with surrender as his soul reaches out to me and places it's trust in my care.  His body heaving sighs of relief at my touch or the sound of my voice, leaving tension and worry at his feet.  How I love the freedom in his voice as it acknowledges the sensations washing over his frame, freely expressing to the world his pleasure.

Yes... I will never tire of the sound of his voice.

Mine.....

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Holiday Fever and Dominance!


To me the holidays are about re-connecting.  To myself, and to those I choose to fill and share my life.  It's a time of reflection on the past year.  My choices and if I find myself where I thought I would be. I look at what I may need to change to make sure next year starts out on a better footing or what do I need to keep doing and improving on to ensure things continue in a mainly harmonious way.  Some wait until New Years...not me.  I want a plan before that first day dawns!  I want to wake up that morning and know that the day is not happening to me, but that I am happening to it.  ;)  I'm not naive and know that sometimes, life has it's own way.  I make adjustments for that.  But damn if I don't want the upper hand most of the time.

NB will be arriving on Thursday for 5 days. Most of that time here will be split between me and visiting family. We'll both spend Christmas Eve with our families and Christmas day together.  I'm looking forward to a calm and reflective time together.  Spending leisurely evenings, just the two of us, consumed in each other and strengthening our foundation and connection.  As much as we both enjoy having other men involved in our kinky life it will all lose it's appeal if our foundation fades away.  That's my stand and he knows if we fade, so do I and our lives together.

I can feel my dominate nature rising up as the day of his arrival approaches. He's been doing a lot of traveling for business and our communication has been lacking.  I'm feeling the frustration and have plans for our first night together to not do a lot of talking but just having my way with him to deal with and release all that frustration!  I need to feel his surrender, his vulnerability and see his weakness as he is bound before me and watches me use him for my own delight.  Mmmmmm Yes... That will be a good start!

I'm starting to feel better already just thinking about it!  Seduction, passion, lust, wanton energy..... Taking what is MINE!   ;)  Mmmmmmmm

A lot of this......


And a lot of this!!!!!! 


Thursday, November 22, 2012

Passion and the Need of Touch.



Touch has it's own language and leaves its own pathway along our brain and soul. I use to work with troubled youth in school districts and because of our society and culture these days you were not allowed to touch or give them a hug.  You could ask them for permission but even that was frowned upon.  The decision, because of liability issues, was that you could help, heal, comfort without touching them. Even reaching out to hold a hand was questioned. Being the rebel I am and a very big hugger, I was always hugging, after asking their permission first.  Because I know unless there is human touch there is no lasting connection.  Good touch, over time, can erase the markings of bad touch or lack of touch in someone's life.

Touching whether sexual or non sexual is bonding.  We either repel from the bond trying to be created or we welcome and allow it to touch our soul. A tender touch from a caring soul can unleash a flood of tears you were not aware was lurking behind your eyes and break the damn within your heart.

Touch awakens passion within us.  It starts to trigger our senses and reminds us we are alive. Nerve endings stir, and in a sexual setting, arousal stirs and our bodies start to relax and excite at the same time as we flow into the sea of passion.

There wasn't a lot of touching from my parents when I was growing up.  It was the time when children were 'seen and not heard' and we seemed to be more ornaments in the home than living beings. I craved 'touch' and when I had my own children I poured out my affection all over them! We are a very touchy family. My middle daughter's nickname is 'Kitten' because she would crawl up on my lap, cuddle into me and ask me to rub her back and play with her hair. Even to this day, as an adult, she'll do that!  I do honestly believe that this is how my 'petting' fetish developed!  ;)

Recently while in Las Vegas with NB we were watching a live show and I was snuggled up to him with my right arm and hand along side his left. After a while he leaned over to me and said, "You've been 'petting' me for the last 20 mins."  I was totally unaware of what I was doing and of course it was starting to get to him! We talked about my 'petting' fetish after and I realized that for me, it brought me comfort and a feeling of connection as I was enjoying our time together.

Touch is critical in my life.  I have ended relationships when it wasn't there in the way I've needed it.  It's a form of non verbal communication that sometimes says so much more than words can convey. In my life it's wrapped up in the passion that lies inside me and expresses the emotional state of my heart and soul. If you reject my touch, you reject my core being.  It's like a knife cutting through the depths of my heart.

I have lived a lot of my life surrounded by pain and death in my life journey. Life is too short to deny the basic human needs that live within each of us. To close our eyes to what we need deep inside and deny passion is a loss to all. There is great beauty to be found in life and those who embrace passion and recognize the healing power of a human touch seem to find it easier than others. But passion lies within all of us.

I came across this quote below from Joss Whedon on my Tumblr a few days ago.

"Passion.  It lies in all of us. Sleeping...waiting...and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir...open its jaws and howl.  It speaks to us...guides us.  Passion rules us all.  And we obey.  What other choice do we have?  Passion is the source of our finest moments.  The joy of love...the clarity of hatred...the ecstasy of grief.  It hurts sometimes more than we can bear.  If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace.  But we would be hollow.  Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead."
~ Joss Whedon ( Buffy the Vampire Slayer)



Another form of 'petting' I enjoy.......



Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Intoxication of a Mature Man



I know it may seem that I have an addiction to young beautifully built men as can be seen by my 'Saturday Eye Candy' pics!  But they are just that to me...Eye Candy.  Yummy morsels to scan and enjoy.  But when it comes to the intoxicating feeling I can get from the image of a man...give me a mature man every time!

Their bodies are well seasoned and marked from the journey it has been on.  Stories of their past unfolds as they move underneath your hands and respond to your touch. Mature men know how to use their body to respond to that touch; are well aware of their own trigger points and have hopefully learned how to use their cock to tease and satisfy a woman.  No matter it's length or girth.  His fingers know when to be gentle and when to push and prod with passion while he encourages the beauty from a woman.

But even more intoxicating is the mind and soul of a mature man.  His eyes reveal his acquired knowledge of life through joys, triumph and heartache.  His heart breaks through in times of passion with secrets learned from many journeys and whispers them gently in your ear.  He's more comfortable in his skin and unashamedly shows it off...even if not perfect.  And he's hopefully learned the skill of how to look into the soul of a woman and find the treasure and call it forth.

Such is the intoxication I find in the form, mind and soul of mature men.

Below: Some 'Mature Eye Candy'.... ;)




Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Cuckold Reunion ~ A Passion Returned

On October 1st I'll be reunited with my cuckold whom I'll call here on my blog 'NB'.  The 'NB' standing for Naughty Boy!  NB and I had a beautiful and full relationship, but unexpectedly he had to leave and what we hoped would only be a few months turned into many.  (Too long and complicated of a story to go into!)  We tried to hold things together but after many months we let go and I went my own way without him.  Not necessarily looking for another cuckold, yet finding many flocking to my side. But a cuckold relationship is not something you lightly walk into and my heart went out to those men I met along the way who had at one time lived and enjoyed that lifestyle and for many reasons found themselves alone.  It's hard enough looking for a compatible lover in the world as a whole.  But for a cuckold man who is deeply wired for that lifestyle and has experienced the highs and lows of it, it is very difficult to find it again.

I've had the pleasure of select lovers and pets as I've been on my own. And looking back realize that in each of them I was looking for parts of NB. With nothing now standing in our way, NB and I started talking a few weeks back about seeing each other again, if only to bring closure if we found there was no longer a connection.  After only a few days of communication we found ourselves settling back into the flow we had before, only this time much stronger.  One thing that has changed is me. Being on my own gave me a chance to find my way and own identity apart from the strength of what we had together.  NB had been a Dom and part of the BDSM world most of his adult life.  When he met me he found someone he trusted with his submissive side.  A side he had kept hidden.

A cuckold relationship was never anything I went out to find.  It found me through NB. I love men! And especially strong, complicated, interesting, intelligent men that find themselves lost in my presence!  I love to flirt, tease and control.  But I also need the love and security of a good man. A man that thrills me and 'gets' that he may not be enough for me. A beautiful, surrendered man that gets hard and crazed at the idea of me being with another. A man that gets lost in the cocktail of emotions that only a cuckold man would understand when he thinks of another man desiring and lusting for the woman he loves.  A man who knows that although the other man may have my attention for a short period of time, my cuckold knows my heart ultimately belongs to him. And yet I know his heart beats at a rapid rate awaiting my return to him.

So October 1st we will meet again, face to face and spend 3-4 days enjoying the crazy scene of Las Vegas.  A perfect reunion spot!  And if our conversations are a clue to how things will be when we are together again, then my life will be very fulfilling!  My muse and sustaining passion will have returned and I still have the key to the candy shop!!!!!



 
Click pic for source


Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I Crave You!

                                                          Click pic for source

It’s beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind. Someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts. Someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you’ve built up around your mind and let them inside.
(via chaoswithinus)
          
Don't be afraid.  Don't ever be afraid.  Your vulnerability that slowly spreads over your face and sends uncertainty, yet wonder to your eyes is beautiful to behold.  I love when you find that place in your soul where the words start to tumble slowly out of your mouth revealing thoughts only you have had the privilege to enjoy all these years...and now my ears are hearing for the first time.  When you realize that not only do I crave your gorgeous frame that so lusciously presses against my body when you give yourself to me, but I crave your eyes that reveal your soul and spirit that dance in your mind.

Yes .... I love to walk into the room when you are busy with a task, stop before you, waiting as you slowly look up and I say, "Naked...Now." with that wanton look in my eyes.....And you drop what you are doing, face flushes, you rise and immediately pulled off your shirt, unbutton your jeans and let all clothing drop to the floor around your feet.

But even more I love to find those uncharted pathways in your mind that are hidden so well.....covered with blankets woven from your past. Blankets you have even forgotten were there covering the origins of your thoughts...thoughts I want to touch, kiss and make love to.

I CRAVE.....ALL OF YOU!     PLEASE....... GIVE ME YOUR HAND........