A Word to the Wise... Dommes do Talk to Each Other!

Lately there seems to be a rash of newbies and/or sensation wanking seekers making their rounds on the net. Especially Fetlife. They seem stable at first, charming, intelligent and genuine in their interest. But when you go to pin them down on their location, meeting up etc. the excuses and lies start to enter into the mix. It does become comical after a while!

A word to the wise all of you that are guilty of this. Dommes do talk to each other! Especially on Fetlife. Your steps are transparent as we see you showing up all over one of our profiles again with all your admiration and love. Your M/O calls you out. We message each other and compare notes of your sworn allegiance and devotion. We sometimes play you along to see how deep of a hole you'll dig for yourself before we expose your lies. Then marvel at how quickly your profile disappears. Only to emerge another day when you believe the dust has settled.

We are beautiful, wonderful and intelligent women that will not waste our time and energy once your lack of integrity and sincerity has been discovered. The word will spread and soon you'll be left alone with only internet porn to wank to. A lonely and sad existence.

Those of us who chose D/s as a way of life are serious and know the pleasures that can be found in a genuine union. Our lives will continue to shine.

Hopefully those who are guilty of this behavior will mature and find a life of fulfillment. Until then, know that your reputation may be preceding you the next time you approach a Domme.  ;)

What you'll never get from us.... ;)

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/118497897159

What you'll never experience..... :)

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/117359592999

Saturday Eye Candy!

To celebrate Saturdays and that we all need a diversion or two, here are a few of my a favorite Eye Candy today from my tumblr site! http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/

It's been a busy week that went by too fast! Not complaining but apologizing for the lack of posts this week! This is my last weekend of work and my life will come back into balance again with weekends off starting next weekend. It's been 7 days a week since April! I plan on writing more and finally working on the book I started almost 1 1/2 years ago. Sad that it has sat there this long. But sometimes things need to settle in our lives and heart for the story to mature. Another thing I've been working on is a collection of my posts here broken into different categories to make you wet and hard. ;) I'm looking forward to the time to work on these projects.

I'm in need to see my sub again. My hunger is building to touch, tease and arouse his beauty and lust. My appetite for him can be voracious at times. The images today reveal what is growing inside me. Very itchy hands!!!!

3 Things: 

Punishment

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/98551463284/floggers

Bondage

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/98551348729

Passion

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/98551394194/m-schiavo-di-medusa

Cuckolding. The Step Child of BDSM?

I have found at times among the blogs I follow,  that the subject of Cuckolding seems to create the most judgmental discussions.  I am baffled why this is so.  It also baffles me why people bring it up as a topic and others chime in and condemn it when they have no professed experience or interest in Cuckolding.  I thought when I left the narrow minded vanilla world behind that I also left behind judgment and condemnation.

There are many aspects found in the alternative lifestyle of BDSM. Many things I don't understand, or have an interest in but I also know it doesn't matter what some people do together, whether it triggers me or makes sense in my world. My take has always been, if that is authentically who you are and you have found a person or people that feel the same... Hooray for you!  Enjoy!  Be happy!  What you do or don't do doesn't affect me one way or the other.  Just as what triggers me and those I chose to have in my life doesn't hinge on your understanding or opinion.  I can live with that.  Happily.

If you have followed this blog long enough then you know one of the reasons I started it 2 1/2 years ago was to shed some light and bring some flesh and blood to the subject of cuckolding.  Much of what is portrayed as cuckolding online is porn and fantasy. Hopefully what you have read here concerning the relationship NB and I had helped to shatter some of the misconceived ideas.

Bottom line.... Whatever wiring lives inside your sexual heart, it's about finding that counter-part partner that brings your fantasies to life.  It's the foundation between two unique people, their personalities, how they mix and what evolves out of that mixture.

The relationship that flourished with NB was built from the foundation of honesty, integrity, trust, deep intimacy and a love and respect for each other. Just as any other relationship should.  His demons played very well with mine!  ;)

Below are some other cuckold couples I follow and who are very different from what we had, yet the foundation is the same.  The men are always faithful.

http://mrsemmakelly.com/
Mrs Kelly's Playhouse - EM & Scott

http://mysexlifewithlola.com/
My Sex Life with Lola - HH & Lo

http://cuckoldletters.blogspot.com/
Cuckold Letters - Vanessa Chaland


Three very different blogs, yet all truthful and authentic to who they are as couples.

So, can we all agree that within the alternative lifestyle of BDSM, there are many thoughts and ways.  But as a people looking for freedom, can we please extend the same freedom and acceptance to others as we ask for ourselves.  If the subject of cuckolding threatens you some how.  Then you need to find out why.

For those I know who flourish in it....they know why it works for them.

h

ttp://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/88189609094/lovemeravilla-l-m

e[lust] edition #51 ~ Enjoy!

 

 Photo courtesy of Property of Potter

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #52? Start with the newly updated rules, come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

7 (Random!) Suggestions for Dominant Types!
Pain Positive
i know what you are.

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Golden Girl
Have You Met Larry

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

Sex toy manuals: puppies, kittens and a whole lot of nonsensical fluff

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Poetry

Shown
To Punt or Not To Punt, That is the Question

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

SexyLittleIdeas - Why PUA Is Like Feminism
Understanding When His Glass is Full
To Minxy Malone, Thanks For Everything
Biting the Bun
The List (is a waste of time)
Confronting Your Sense of Entitlement
What Do You Prefer: Cut or Uncut?
My Secret Relationship with Max
Quaint Little Categories
Erectile dysfunction isn't a big deal

Erotic Fiction

Property Procured
The Delight of Leather
Christmas Eve Surprise
Granny's Door
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Nine
Jessica
The Edge of the Park
Trust
The Blood Mage's Sacrifice
The Spanking Paddle-Off
Used, Using, Endless

Erotic Non-Fiction

I Want You To
Love like a lotus
Bend to my will
Spanked
How you helped me to stray
Little Lightening Bolts v. Rayne’s Clit
Master's Fuck Toy
Conflict
Tease For Two
Memories of Spunk
"It's total perfection."
Fucking a Girl with a Double Dildo

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Insatiable Whore
Thoughts: Submissive Journals
Bondage vs. restraint
Dominant and Submissive "Fix"
Baring It All
Blow Job Submission - A spicy twist
Quickstart Guide
Struggling with sub drop

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

American Tantra is Full of Shit
Really, Riddick? Really?

Blogging

My nudity

Events

CatalystCon Part 1: Dildos, dildos, dildos

e[lust] edition #47~ Enjoy!

Photo courtesy of Behind the Chintz Curtain

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #48? Start with the newly updated rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

This Scene Called Life
I Don't Give A Fig
9 Reasons You SHOULD Have Sex on a First Date

~ Featured Posts (Molly’s Picks) ~

Firm
East Side Exhibitionism

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Threesomes: Being a Good Little Unicorn

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Non-Fiction

Sexentric News and Public Cam-Sex Report
The Play's the Thing
Sadistic Bitch
It was a good night
Kink Chronicles - Panties
Quickie Afternoon Delight
"No, you don't!"
“Objectification” by Blacksilk
Best.Sex.Ever
So I Asked SilverHubby About Our Orgasms
For Pity's Sake, No
Like a Virgin
Three Ashes
His Princess and His Slut
I hope my neighbors got a show.

Poetry

Watching
I want to know You
Once Upon an 'O'

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Testosterone! Don't Leave Home Without it!
Why Modeling Is Poison
Should
On the swingset
Achievement Unlocked
How To Make A Woman Orgasm
Mutual Masturbation is Mother****ing Awesome!
The Wonder of Weddings
Introvert recovery
May is International Masturbation Month
Make love to yourself

Erotic Fiction

Fighting Spirit
Dinner is Served
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Five
Belle and Sandy
Babygirl Gets Caught

Writing about Writing

Beauty and the kebab

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Return of the Vulcan Penis Problem
Masturbation Mishaps, Introduction
"For Novelty Use Only"
BDSM Lexicon Entry #24: Aftercare

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Mad Men: the dominance of Don Draper
Wicked Wednesday - Knowing When to Say No
Why Do I Like Being Owned?
The difference between BDSM & Abuse

Cuckolding Does Not Equal a Pre-arranged Marriage!

This post is for those men who are single and identify themselves as a cuckold man and single women who identify as a cuckoldress who are looking for each other.  I have a friend who I will call "L" who has been in a cuckold marriage before and longs for that again. It's been very interesting following his journey to find another partner.  Notice I said 'partner' not cuckoldress.  He recently sent me an email of yet another woman saying she wanted a cuckold relationship and listing her wants and needs.  I suppose for some this may be just find and dandy...but for anything to truly last there must be a relationship first.  A reason why you want to be together beside cuckolding!  I see this not just coming from women but also from men who seem consumed with what they see as the hottest trend and they desire to stick their toes in the water for a trial run!  Cuckolding does not equal a pre-arranged marriage!  Unless that's all you are after!

A good relationship is built first on the connection, chemistry and desire to be together as a couple.  As ANY other relationship would be.  Once that is established, if cuckolding is a natural fit and agreeable then you move on to that step...the timeline is based on the two of you.

This is not a road that is emotionally easy to travel upon! There must be a strong foundation and great communication between the two partners for this to reap any true benefits. And it's not a lifestyle to just dabble in!  It comes out of what you already have and have found it as a needed and desired part of how the two of you are wired.  It's an exciting and thrilling roller-coaster for those strong enough to maneuver it.

There are some great examples of cuckold couples on the web.  Here are a few:

Scott and Em at Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse 
Vanessa Chaland at Cuckold Letters
H.H. and Lo at My Sex Life with Lola

All of their links can be found on My Blog List.  :)

As you will see, even with these three, there is great variety in how they live their lives.  But they have one thing in common, their relationships were established first.  As was NB's and mine. We fell in love and the cuckolding came along as a natural dynamic as we evolved as a couple.

I know this is only my humble opinion and you may think I'm completely off base.  And that's your right.  Doesn't bother me a bit.  There are always as many exceptions as there are differences in tastes and styles.  But I'm a realist / romantic and believe in love.  I know what works for me.  I have seen the importance of the connection between two people that is needed before you add anything else 'outside the box' to the mix.  I'm all for building long term!

So for those of you who are single and out there looking...keep this in mind.  Look for a connection first!  Chemistry first!  Unless you love pre-arranged marriages!  :)

Mmmmmm...Connection, Chemistry...Passion.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/40229282139/yes-please

Transitions ~ Preparing for the Beauty and Lust ahead!

It's been a calm two weeks with NB back in CA handling some personal business along with work. I'm not very patient when it comes to transition times in my life.  I hate 'lulls' and just desire to move ahead to my next destination. 2012 has all been about transition and I'm feeling like shouting from the roof tops, "Enough is Enough!".  I know I still have some waiting time ahead as NB finishes going through his own transition and as I tell myself it will soon be over and we will eventually be settle into somewhat of a normal routine for our lives.  I sometimes wonder if there is such a thing! ;)  Our lives will never be what others describe as normal.  And that makes me happy.

Until then...I busy myself with work on my writing and research I've been doing for the past few months on a new page for this blog that will cover and give resources on information on the incredible wiring of our brain, how fluid it is, how magnificent it can heal and re-wire itself and how it all is connected to our sexually.  This was my original intent when I started this blog.  To dig deep into why we have the urges we do, and why somethings can't be explained away by childhood trauma, abuse etc.  I was never sexually abused as a child and for that I am thankful.  But I did suffer loss as a child.  My mother died when I was 10 and being the oldest of two children, that loss seemed to amp up the dominate nature that was already showing itself.

So as I've explored more into my own sexuality, I have gone on a quest to find answers and am hoping once this page is done and functioning it will help my readers on their own journeys of understanding themselves and those in their lives better.  The excitement of seeing that accomplished keeps me going through this transition period I find myself in.

I am thankful for those who follow along with this blog, taking a peak into my life, mind and soul and I desire the most life has to offer to enrich your lives.

I so love this image below!  It expresses how I feel about sexuality, BDSM, D/s relationships and wanting to ravish myself in all life has to offer. A beautiful submissive man, bound, surrendered and the woman just ecstatic at everything he has given to her and represents! You Go Girl!!!! Grab life and indulge yourself!

http://hentaiplushie.tumblr.com/post/19763700446

BDSM Emblem Meaning

 

Today while updating my tumblr site I ran across this image and meaning for BDSM. Many may see this image and not understand the meaning and background.  So for those who have not .... here you go! ~ Vista

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

What does the BDSM Emblem mean?

The BDSM emblem has no “obvious” symbolism because it was created to be enigmatic. To the vanilla observer who would be put off by BDSM, it is merely an attractive piece of jewelry. Thus, we can wear it freely as a friendly salute, nod, and wink to other BDSMers we should happen to pass on the sidewalks and in the hallways of our daily lives.

To the insider, however, the Emblem is full of meaning.

The three divisions represent the various threesomes of BDSM. First of all, the three divisions of BDSM itself: B&D, D&S, and S&M. Secondly, the three-way creed of BDSM behavior: Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Thirdly, the three divisions of our community: Tops, Bottoms, and Switches.

It is this third symbolism that gives meaning to the holes in each unit. Since BDSM is at the very least a play style and at its greatest a love style, the holes represent the incompleteness of any individual within the BDSM context. However “together” and “whole” individuals may be, there remains a void within them that can only be filled by a complimentary other. BDSM cannot be done alone.

The resemblance to a three-way variation on the Yin-Yang symbol is not accidental. As the curved outline of Yin and Yang represent the hazy border between where one ends and the other begins, so do the curved borders here represent the indistinct divisions between B&D, D&S, and S&M.
The all-embracing circle, of course, represents the overlying unity of it all and the oneness of a community that protects its own.

Source: fortheloveofasub