Looking for a Few Good Men!

And when I say a few good men, it would be nice to have a few to choose from! My definition of a man is a male over 40! Until then they are 'boys' in training. There are always exceptions to that definition. I've met a few that stray far from it. Mature beyond their years. Others I've known never break through training camp! Being that 'older' women have been the rage for a while I've had my moments of enjoying the attention of a younger man. I do enjoy looking at them and when I find one I like, playing with them...but the attraction wanes quickly for I yearn for the maturity of a man.

A man who understands his own sexuality. Comfortable in his skin. Full of wonder, awe and adventure. Understands that 'cock into pussy' is not the ultimate goal! That there are many mile stones of pleasure along the way. A man who has learned the road map of a woman's body and especially the woman he now desires. A man that is open and responsive to my definition of pleasure.

Newbies in D/s and younger men have become my 'Kryptonite'. They drain me with their inability to commit to a decision. To follow through with their words and think thoroughly through promises before speaking them. Their excitement and enthusiasm can be contagious as adrenalin pumps through their brain and cock. I take the risk, because hell why not...look at them! But the disappointment in their inability to pull the trigger on their own wants and desires has left a bad taste in my mouth.

So in the effort to keep my heart from becoming jaded I'm swearing off men under 40! To clarify: Those who I have a personal face to face, R/L connection with. In wisdom I should probably cut it off at 50...but men are just starting to come into their own in their 40's! I'm not turning my back on that. But I am swearing off newbies of ALL ages! Just no patience for them! Damn! A woman just wants to have what she wants without the damn drama! I don't want to 'break' someone in; explain about my kinks and help them discover theirs.

I want men that are well versed in their dark ways and have a desire to discover how their demons play well with mine.

So where are the healthy, intelligent, adventurous, handsome, physically fit, mature dark souls that won't run from but to my dark playhouse?

Looking for a Few Good Men.

Yes!  Put the young ones behind glass to enjoy until they reach 40! 

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/118342898504

Pussy Whispering

~Vista~

Pussies come in many shapes and sizes and are intricately woven through the equally complicated body of a woman. The nerve endings that lie within her extend farther than between our legs. That fact is well worth noting! Depending on the wiring, likes and dislikes of a woman the things that will grab her pussy's attention and welcome you into her warm world can vary. I can only speak to the particular appetite and insatiable needs of mine and how to engage her in such a way that greed and lust pull you happily into her lair.

Here is a basic seductive list of 5 'Pussy Whisperings' that are sure to pave the way into my world:

1. Words.
Yes...your words. Words are an aphrodisiac to my mind. You may have an amazing cock that I've drooled over countless times online and a body that makes my pussy shake with desire, but if you are unable to engage my mind, seduce those pesky neurotransmitters to spark with lust you have already lost your pass to heaven. My pussy may argue but believe me, my mind is more powerful and I've walked away many times because I knew in the long run even that hungry girl would eventually lose her appetite.

Intelligence, wisdom that comes with taking risks and living life, sharing your failures along with your successes will pull me into your soul. I want to touch your soul first. To have you be able to articulate your feelings, honestly without shame. To have the ability to look at me and suddenly see something you never saw before as I listen to you. To have you stare at me in wonder then tell me in your beautiful words what desires are filling your head. That even naughty, filthy, dirty words coming out of your mouth are wrapped in velvet. Each sentence touching every part of my body with passion. That you understand your words are more powerful and penetrating than the cock that hangs between your legs. Yes, I'm a dominant woman, but seduce me damn it!

2. Eyes.
Look at me when you talk with me. In a D/s dynamic this would be outside of any play. I'm not about 24/7. The dynamic between us will always lie underneath all we do ready to emerge when called upon.  But know what I look like. Tell me about the very small heart shaped mole on my left upper eye lid that you've studied while I slept. The scar on my right shin from climbing rocks as a little girl. The mole on the side of my right breast that you've traced countless times with your tongue. Know me because you've studied me with your eyes.

3. Mouth.
A good kiss can awaken any sleeping pussy from slumber! You must love to kiss, nibble, softly at first then increasing your passion as you sense the hunger building. Kiss my lips! Keep your tongue to yourself until that passion builds. My lips need to feel the moist, softness of yours. Love them. Explore their texture. Know that their sensitivity is communicating with my pussy's lips. Making her hunger grow and creating a jealousy and need to have you.

4. Touch.
Touch me...everywhere! Not just my breasts, (although for me my nipples are directly connected to my clit!) but running your hands down the strength of my arms, down my sides, up the inside of my thighs....explore me, touch me until I'm grabbing your hand and shoving your fingers inside her! Touch the length and breath of her. Not just her slit but all around. Over her mound, along the crease of the inner thighs. Talk to her. Let her feel the vibrations of your words and breathing upon her. She loves to be wet with her desire and yours. Learn that her nerve endings run deep and throughout that whole region. Feel her response to your touch.

5. Her memory.
Yes! Pussies have a memory. She remembers how you touch her and pay attention to her responses. How you kiss her. How you play with her and tease her with the tip of your cock. She also remembers when and if she's been violated or treated roughly without consent. She remembers the good and the bad. And if the bad emotions have not been healed she may tighten and not let you in. She remembers every sweet and harsh word. Many emotions are hidden away in her velvet walls. My mind may push things aside but she'll stand her ground. She is the gatekeeper to my soul. Make her believe your desire for her.

There you have it. My Five basics of Pussy Whispering. The list will vary according to the woman. Keep in mind we are all unique. And each woman's list is valid for her!

Pussy Whispering is about listening, being present, paying attention and watching. She's paying attention to you. Even to how you pay attention to others.  ;)

Take off Your Insecurities

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/95374662449/if-i-could-see-thru-ur-eyes-melting-away-one

Your beauty comes more from your soul than the body you train for my viewing. As much as I love to gaze at the results of your efforts, it's the tearing down of your walls that draw me closer to you. I desire to see the questions that form in your eyes as you watch me study every crease and fondle those beautiful balls that hang between your legs. Will they be pulled, teased, tortured tonight? What will I ask of you? What will I require? Will you have a voice or be instructed to silence. Only allowed to have your body speak for you. 

Does it matter? You're here, where you want to be. In a trusted place with one whose only desire is to open you up and make you whole. You want me to reach into your soul and pull out every fear that has kept you from tasting life in a deeper more satisfying way. Facing them one at a time to fully gain the authority that has been yours from birth. Embracing every beautiful quirk and unorthodox wiring according to society's definition. 

Your desire for freedom has brought you to me. Not your savior, but your lamp-holder, shining the light to guide you back to your own path. I love your frame, it's well tended and maintained to bring me pleasure. You easily offer it to me, but I know you hide behind it's beauty thinking it's enough.  

Before you open your body to me, open up your soul. 

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/95643941669

Cuckolding. The Step Child of BDSM?

I have found at times among the blogs I follow,  that the subject of Cuckolding seems to create the most judgmental discussions.  I am baffled why this is so.  It also baffles me why people bring it up as a topic and others chime in and condemn it when they have no professed experience or interest in Cuckolding.  I thought when I left the narrow minded vanilla world behind that I also left behind judgment and condemnation.

There are many aspects found in the alternative lifestyle of BDSM. Many things I don't understand, or have an interest in but I also know it doesn't matter what some people do together, whether it triggers me or makes sense in my world. My take has always been, if that is authentically who you are and you have found a person or people that feel the same... Hooray for you!  Enjoy!  Be happy!  What you do or don't do doesn't affect me one way or the other.  Just as what triggers me and those I chose to have in my life doesn't hinge on your understanding or opinion.  I can live with that.  Happily.

If you have followed this blog long enough then you know one of the reasons I started it 2 1/2 years ago was to shed some light and bring some flesh and blood to the subject of cuckolding.  Much of what is portrayed as cuckolding online is porn and fantasy. Hopefully what you have read here concerning the relationship NB and I had helped to shatter some of the misconceived ideas.

Bottom line.... Whatever wiring lives inside your sexual heart, it's about finding that counter-part partner that brings your fantasies to life.  It's the foundation between two unique people, their personalities, how they mix and what evolves out of that mixture.

The relationship that flourished with NB was built from the foundation of honesty, integrity, trust, deep intimacy and a love and respect for each other. Just as any other relationship should.  His demons played very well with mine!  ;)

Below are some other cuckold couples I follow and who are very different from what we had, yet the foundation is the same.  The men are always faithful.

http://mrsemmakelly.com/
Mrs Kelly's Playhouse - EM & Scott

http://mysexlifewithlola.com/
My Sex Life with Lola - HH & Lo

http://cuckoldletters.blogspot.com/
Cuckold Letters - Vanessa Chaland


Three very different blogs, yet all truthful and authentic to who they are as couples.

So, can we all agree that within the alternative lifestyle of BDSM, there are many thoughts and ways.  But as a people looking for freedom, can we please extend the same freedom and acceptance to others as we ask for ourselves.  If the subject of cuckolding threatens you some how.  Then you need to find out why.

For those I know who flourish in it....they know why it works for them.

h

ttp://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/88189609094/lovemeravilla-l-m

Men are Hunters ... And other fables!

Let Me Make This Very Clear!

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/88182285119/maitresseandboy-the-boss-is-almost-back

I was having a conversation with someone the other day and to his defense, he's very new when it comes to the D/s lifestyle.  We were talking about relationships, men and women and he made a comment which set me back and reminded me why I no longer associate myself with the vanilla world.  He said as a come back to some information I was sharing with him about a relationship, "Men are hunters."  It's probably good we were texting because he would not have wanted to see the look of disgust on my face when he said that.  My response back to him was, "That's BS!"

So, What the Fuck does that mean!  Really?!  The first thing that came to my mind was the 'cave man' hit woman over head and drag her away!  Or 'he needs to hunt you down, so play coy and don't be so easy to catch'.  I hate games and game playing is part of what is wrong in a society that has people living in the closet with their desires and existing in meaningless relationships because they got lost in some fucking role they thought they should play.  Men are not only hunters, but CEO's, plumbers, doctors, engineers.... It's a profession, career...nothing to do with relationships. To lump every man into that old patriarchal culture is BS!

Women have careers of many types including being hunters! I am a dominant woman and in the relationship/sexual arena I am the hunter. And whatever man I may be scoping out had better not play coy or any games with me.  I require honesty, vulnerability and surrender as they recognize who has them in their grip and why.  Male dominants can also be hunters.  It's about the wiring and makeup of the person, not the gender.

I hunt submissive men. It's who I am and who I'm attracted to. A beautiful man who is strong enough to know his desires and strong enough to relinquish his control of them to me. Not a doormat, but a pillar of masculinity longing to surrender.  He is drawn to my honesty, openness and trusts me with his secrets. Coyness and games from me are not what this man seeks.

It is I who captured you.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/88766078624/domme-chronicles-ourgentlemensclub-bound

Be thankful that I wanted you in the first place.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/85791238679/allourdesires-hope

Sexual Compatibility!

No matter what the relationship is: Vanilla, F/m, M/f, M/s, BDSM, D/s or any gender blend; what holds a relationship together as a foundation is friendship. Enjoying the company of the other person, even if you're just 'hanging out' doing nothing special at all. You just enjoy their company. You feel relaxed and yourself in their presence. Laughter comes easy and you are blissfully unaware of any insecurities, weaknesses and failures you may have of yourself. Mix this with sexual compatibility and you have something priceless! Friendship is the foundation but sexual compatibility is an important building block that determines how high that fortress you are building goes.

The nurturing, trust and openness that comes from a strong friendship clears the way for communication that exposes all the dark and suppressed secrets. Here is where sexual compatibility is discovered and a beautiful journey begins that can last for many years.

I know of so many couples, especially married couples, that stay together for children or financial reasons but have found that they are not sexually compatible and at least one, if not both people, are lonely and suffering in the same house. I have been there and it is the loneliest of existence. So with experience under my belt I have learned and am determined in my soul to not find myself in that situation again.  The only way to ensure that is to live an honest and authentic life.

Two people meet and lust colors their attraction and sometimes out of fear of losing the other one agrees and goes along with their wants and desires or the other holds back on revealing their wants and desires out of fear of turning the other away. Fear of revealing our true nature will eventually destroy any intimacy that has developed. Compromising our sexual needs, desires and thinking 'love' is enough will eventually leave you thirsty and hungry for what you have been denied. You are no longer validated as important.  Your voice and needs remain unheard, unmet.

We must know ourselves and be honest with ourselves and others.  It's just not worth it to hide out of fear of discovery!  Your peace, happiness and fulfillment are yours to have. Live fully as the person you were meant to be.

If you're in a committed relationship already that is unsatisfying I'm not saying to abandon the ship! You have chosen your path and need to own up to it and live it out.  But if ever given the opportunity again to live according to the truth of who you are, then do it!  Until then, be honest with the partner you have and try to make it work in all transparency.

To those who are single.... Don't ever settle. The worst thing in life is to end up with someone who makes you feel alone. It's better to be alone and true to yourself than to live half of a life. I believe that once you know who you are and what you want, that the laws of attraction kick in and bring those of the same desires into your life.

I am hopeful for the future. We are all wired sexually in a unique way. It's the magic of finding those who are wired in a complementary way that brings the level of intimacy that I at least must have! I'm a passionate soul and must have that returned in a partner, plus much more! I love this saying below.  Intimacy born out of knowing and full surrender... Mmmmmmmmm

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/74259118825

Seeking, Finding and Laughter.

I have a dear, male friend I call 'L' that is a cuckold and has been looking for a very long time for the woman he can connect to and form the cuckold relationship he desires so deep inside.  He has had that relationship before and knows deep down it's the one thing that brings him pleasure, peace and satisfaction. But finding that 'one' is hard, very hard. Sometimes I know he just wants to give up, but the desire continues to move him along one day at a time. I share a lot of my 'ups' and 'downs' with NB with L and I think it helps and encourages him a bit that even though it's hard to find, it can happen.

L's search has also given me insight into the struggles to find that right connection. I do understand that when someone is looking for someone to fill a role we have in mind, that the personal connection we are really looking for can get lost in the mix along the way. The few times I have sought out a submissive male I have found the connection ultimately lacking because the personal connection was not there enough to sustain the dynamic that is involved with any D/s relationship. I do believe that deep connection is what we all yearn for.

Ferns of Domme Chronicles recently wrote on her blog an excellent article about Dominance and Vulnerability.  It's good to read posts that cover the dominant side of D/s and the struggles sometimes that dominants can have surrounding vulnerability. I know for me, it's always a risk in stepping out and going for something that may be rejected. Having a strong foundation in your relationship can help to anchor anyone in times of uncertainty.

I do know for a fact that what has saved NB and I in all that we have weathered together is the fact that we came together first as two people very attracted to each other, finding a strong physical and emotional connection before any D/s or cuckold element was brought into our foundation. The rest all developed as we learned more about each other, found safety to share our deepest desires and found with each other acceptance of all our weakness and human frailties.  He says my only frailty is that it takes me 'way' too long to get ready to go anywhere!   I'll let him believe that's the only one.  :)

Would we ever walk away from the D/s and the cuckold elements of our relationship? Only if we found it no longer played into our overall dynamic of who we are. We do talk about this. Especially with us living apart for now. We both believe that it will always be there to some degree and that when we are finally together full time it will only increase in intensity. We draw it out of each other and look forward to it deepening who we are together. But the main fact is that it is 'our' journey together. We are writing the 'play book' along the way. We have never been ones to follow anyone's script.

I'm grateful that our foundation was first founded on 'us' as a couple. We are first 'that', a couple. The rest only colors who we are. And laughter! No one can make me laugh louder and lose my breath and words like NB can!  And he is all so innocent when he does! His humor seemingly comes out of no where! Here is a fine example that I'll leave you with that is part of the glue that holds us together....

When NB was last here we were laying on my bed, TV going in the background and we were talking about our plans for the next day. When we are snuggled together like that he enjoys, as I do, finding peace and comfort with his mouth pressed into my bare breasts, nibbling and suckling away as my fingers run through his hair and I gently kiss him along his closed eyes and forehead. It's a warm, beautiful and loving ritual we share. I'm getting lost in his attention, my mind wandering as my body responds to his care when out of the blue he mumbles through his pressed lips, "I want to push the cart."  We had been discussing shopping at Walmart the next day maybe five minutes prior to his statement. I burst out laughing so hard I couldn't find my words as he surprisingly felt my breast pulled from his adoring mouth! He looked at me with his eyes so wide, wondering what I was laughing at!  Simply... I know this man! I know how off the wall comments can come flying out of his mouth at the craziest times and it unleashes in me a deep laughter that runs though my body and soul. I love him so much for having the ability to do that. It's not on purpose...its just who he is...genuine, unafraid and unpretentious with me. Vulnerable and open in all ways. How I love that! How I thrive on that. That is what takes me through some of the hard times we have had. That is what we are built on. That is what gives me the strength to be the dominant we both need. That is something I hope my friend L finds someday. An honest, free, unpretentious relationship that fills all of his desires. First ... find the one that can make you laugh!

Love men who are free and have genuine smiles!

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/50015304659/warriorsofmightandmagic-o

Be who you are ... always!

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/53772923637/warriorsofmightandmagic-caressing-the-family

Sensual and Inspiring Awards!

A big Thank You and lots of Sexy Happiness to my dear, sexy friends Lo and H.H. over at 'My Sex Life With Lola' for their “Sensual Blogging” award and for their “Very Inspiring Blogger” award.  I am a very big fan of their blog and how H.H. shares his inner most thoughts with all who will pull up a chair and listen.  If NB and I weren't in a D/s, cuckold relationship with me as the dom, we would fit very nicely in what these two lovelies have together.  It gives me a glimpse into the other side.  ;)

Now for the homework involved in receiving these awards:

Directions for Sensual Blogging Award:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated AWARDED you with a link back to their blog.

2. Copy and paste this fine award on your blog.

3. Answer 7 “sensual” questions posed by the blogger who awarded you this fine award.

4. Create or borrow 7 “sensual” questions for the bloggers you award this fine award to to answer.

5. Select 7 “sensual” bloggers to award this fine award to.

The Questions:

1.   Origin story – why did or what was the trigger that encouraged you to start your blog? 

      

Answer:  When NB and I started to explore the cuckold lifestyle I went online and read any article and book I could find to help me further understand what we were walking into. I also needed to understand more about where he was coming from.  80% of what I came across and read didn't fit our life or desires, yet we knew who we were and what we wanted.  I started writing short stories for us that gave us something to relate to and eventually started the blog out of the lack of understanding and clarity people had around cuckold couples.  We both hope to bring realism and the understanding of the inner workings in both partners around this way of life.  PLUS...I love seeing sexy men on the blog!!!  Hence my Saturday Eye Candy!

2.  What’s one of your favorite things you’ve done with your partner(s)?  

    
Answer: I enjoy everything we do whether sexual or not.  But must say MMF is a favorite!  We still have many more of those ahead in our future, I hope!  I do love having NB around and involved.  So hot!

3. How would someone seduce you?      

 
 Answer:  Feeling smooth warm hands brushing up against my breasts and being a great kisser.  And then telling me how much they love the feel of natural breasts...Damn... Makes me wet already!

4.  How would you seduce someone?      

    
Answer: Light touches, pressing my body against theirs innocently, then running my hands down the top of the inner thigh hoping I find evidence of their arousal. :)

5.  What’s your naughtiest fantasy (or one you care to share)?

    
Answer:  Oh, we have so many!  We make many trips to Las Vegas, so one fantasy is visiting the Red Rooster and making a night of it!  (Probably more NB's fantasy but one I'm quickly warming up to! ) Another is getting to know other cuckold couples once we are living together and have parties at our house with our cuckold's and lovers all being there.

6.  Other than your goods below, what’s your next favorite body part to be touched?

    
Answer:  My breasts!  They are very sensitive.  I could have NB suckling at my breasts for hours and sometimes wake him up in the middle of the night to do just that and have him fall back to sleep that way!

7.  What’s a food/dish that you consider sensual?  

    
Answer: Klondike Bars!  We both love them!  They make us feel innocent and young! Then we lick the melted ice cream off each other!

I choose to use these same questions for all the Sensual Bloggers below.

The rules of the Very Inspiring Blogger award are:

1. Tell 7 facts about yourself.  Done...above.

2. Nominate 15 Bloggers and inform them of their nomination. God, I hope 8 will do!

Here are eight bloggers to whom I'd like to pass on both awards above:

1. Mick Collins - Under Contract To My Wife  Humorous tales of a married Mistress/slave cuckold couple and their mass media empire. ;)

2. Paltego - Femdom Resource This site is jam packed with links and resources dedicated to the beauty of dominant women.

3. Ferns - Domme Chronicles A lovely, sensuous domme from down under sharing her thoughts, wisdom and humor on life in search of a lovely, yummy submissive man.

4. D - Dumb Domme Down to earth, witty blog about finding yourself in this domme world. ;)

5. Guy - Quickies in New York Guy is a fantastic erotic writer and his blog is full of hot delights and naughty pics.

6. EA - Easily Aroused Erotic fiction by an equally erotic, seductive Englishman! Another favorite!

7. Dick & Jane - Dick-n-Jane A very horny, loving couple who enjoy sharing stories, reviews, pics and advice to all who will listen!

8. H.H. & Lo - My Sex LIfe With Lola Even though they already have this award...how could I pass them by when they are so damn hot!!!! ;)

Congratulations, you've been awarded the "Sensual Blogging Award" and the "Very Inspiring Blogger Award." !

Sexual Wiring - Fact or Fiction / New Page

I'm excited about this new page of the blog.  I've been researching for a while on the wiring of our brain and why we have the desires and the sexual tendencies we have during our life.  And why those tendencies seem to evolve with time and maturity.  Or maybe we finally have the courage to say to the world, "Fuck You! This is what I need and want.  I'm not bringing harm to anyone but maybe you and your way of thinking!"

I know it has been a subject that has intrigued me for a long time and it wasn't until I met NB and finally found my own sexual destiny and happiness that I seriously started looking for answers. The books listed on the new page that I am recommending and can be found on my Amazon "I Recommend" list, are some of the best I have found to give a different and clear approach on the subject of our brain and sexuality being wired together and how the influences of society, culture, people and experiences can effect and continue to change that very important part of our life.

I'm a great believer that the more clarity you can bring to a person on a subject, the more power and freedom you give them over their life!  As I find more books on this subject that I think we would all benefit from I'll add them to this page.

Please check it out and let me know your thoughts!  ;)

~ Vista