Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Understanding When His Glass is Full

NB's glass has been full for some time now. Many months. As I mentioned in a previous post, I finally realized I needed to just step back and give him lots of space. As a dominant I may have experienced that feeling a few times in my life, but not for very long. I tend to deal with things as they come along and cut out of my life the things that are trying to drag me down or steal my energy. On the other hand, NB's glass not only became full, but continually overflowing. Not a good thing. He tends to want to 'please' and ends up over committing and wearing himself thin. He's a very hard worker and equally, worrier over things. If his glass is full and overflows, anxiety and stress run him over and flatten him to the ground.

So I stepped back.... thinking it would take him some time to empty some of that stress that has filled his glass for so long. But 5 days later he's on the phone; been in touch every day and finally bought the ticket to fly to me this coming weekend as he had promised so many weeks ago. He's still a bit fragile, but I'm beginning to understand and not fear being apart from him. I'm no longer afraid to let him go and have him workout some things without me cheering him on.

We learn from each other. His submissive nature around me has a softening effect on this sometimes hard exterior. Fear of not wanting to be disappointed makes me throw my hands up and walk away when things become too much. Where NB will hang in there with his last breath. He's a dreamer, romantic and idealistic. I'm pragmatic and realistic with a sometimes 'take no prisoners' attitude. He is good for me. He makes me want to 'hang in there'. He makes me want to fight for us, where I never have before. I'd just take my marbles and go home without a word. Mumbling 'fuck you' under my breath.

Understanding the 'Glass is Full' concept has been new for me. For me the answer has always been ... just dump out the damn glass and start again. Not always wise; effective for the moment, but not always wise. You tend to miss a lot of good that could have been there also. Whereas NB needs to slowly drain it into a cloth and let the good flow through. I do admire him for that lovely quality.

I'm sure he needs more than 5 days to continue to drain out what has been burdening him, but at least he made some room for us this weekend.  It will just be the two of us. Full of lots of steamy, lusty sex, pushing limits and inflicting some much need pain on a hungry submissive. With hopefully the result of emptying his glass even more.  ;)

Maybe there really is light at the end of some dark tunnels. ;)

A Lovely Weekend of this ....

And this ....

And absolutely ... this ...!

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