Insatiable. I guess that word is as good as any in describing my hunger for hot, sexy men. I do love men in general. But what gets me warm, wet and my nipples standing erect is a beautiful, hot, sexy, hungry, submissive man dripping with desire for me. I love to play with the ebb and flow of the energy between us and the resulting ravishing of each other's body and soul. To top that all off is the psychological orgasm that builds in my mind if NB is right there to witness the exchange and maybe be forced to be involved in humiliating ways of service to prove his undying devotion to me. When he is right there, my arousal is fed by his discomfort, angst, his layers and levels of submission and increased humiliation. Me, very much in control and him, lost in being out of control. A sharing of intimacy that goes deep into the psyche of who we are as individuals.
Along with that exchange is also the component of keeping NB off balance. Never knowing when someone new may be walking into our lives or surprising him with an arrangement that will bring a new level of humiliation that I know will feed his submission, bringing him to levels of physical, mental and sexual torture. Jealousy, anger, hurt and pain aren't enough to stop the arousal that takes him over the edge. He wants to pull the other man from me, yell at the top of his lungs to 'Get Out' but he can't. His own cock betrays him and drips with pre-cum as his seed fights for release.
After all is said and done there is Aftercare. As much as I enjoy all that takes place before, it's showing NB affection, touching, kissing, holding, caring and concern for his well being that feeds and binds us together. Bringing to him emotionally and physically my love for him. He trembles under my touch and buries himself in my flesh trying to hide within me, thrusting his cock deep inside me to restore our connection. Reassuring our bond in his body, mind and soul. His warm lips wrapping around my nipple as he suckles to find comfort and nurturing from me once again. His world momentarily having spun out of control, slowly finds it's balance, settling his racing heart.
Yes, cuckolding is so much about the torment the man goes through, but it's also, for us, about the way his need feeds me. How his overwhelming desires fuel my own and empowers me in a way I have never known before. The trust NB has in me to let go of all his fears, to face what lives inside him, free from any condemnation from me, is a strength and power exchange I find intoxicating. Honesty, transparency and the freedom to share our deepest, darkest secrets with each other and sometimes play them out... Yes... I need him there. In the end, it's all about our love and commitment to each other.
Thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteI have to say I've never understood the cuckolding thing.
Although I've no objection in principle to polyamory, I'm not sure I'd like to be in a situation that fed jealousy quite so forcibly and directly, simply because jealousy is one of the most engulfing emotions there is - an emotion that destroys one's sense of self-worth even if it's only for the duration of a scene.
I can see that it wouldn't be possible without the aftercare that you give your sub, and I applaud your mindfulness.
That said, I've seen cuckolding written up on other blogs with the sort of smirking, self-satisfied, ill-disguised contempt for the submissive male that makes me feel uneasy, because subs are people too, and they deserve respect.
Personally speaking, and as a submissive male, I'd never submit to any woman who didn't on some fundamental level respect me.
At least this has given me a different perspective.
I'm so pleased this gave you another perspective. It's one of the reasons I started this blog. I was unhappy with what I mostly found on the web concerning cuckolding. A high percentage was about what you describe here and a pet peeve of mine is the 'hotwife' term. Only because it puts this way of life into a category of kink that has a cartoon slant to it of misused men unable to control their wives etc.
DeleteThe true cuckold relationship is so much more than that and must come from a place of real need and wiring of the cuck. Which is why most men and people don't understand. For NB it's a psychological and sexual wiring that has been with him all his life and with me he has found a safe place to unravel what has lived in him so long. I do believe why it works with us is because of the D/s component of our relationship. I am his mistress and dominant, he is my submissive and my cuckold. I understand him and because of his vulnerability and the transparency he has given to me, I am trusted to not harm him but to nurture and bring him freedom.
My focus is always on how things effect our relationship...bottom line. Outside of the D/s, he is my best friend. We have great love and respect for each other. I would never destroy that.
Thank you for your comment. :)
~ Vista
I like how you explain that it keeps things dynamic and "off balance." That's the fun part - even if it is excruciatingly nerve wracking! However, Lo does love to be called a "hotwife" - among other terms. . .
ReplyDeleteBut Lo loving to be called a 'hotwife' has a more genuine meaning behind it than some of the players on the web and you two respect and love each other. That's a big difference.
DeleteGlad the post hit a chord with you. ;)
~ Vista
Sometimes I read a blog post that just GRABS me, that makes me think about something in a whole new way - this is one of those posts. As the other commenter said, I have never understood cuckholding, and the way that I have seen it presented elsewhere has always been in such a...derisive...fashion that it's turned me off the idea entirely. But your description of it, of what makes it work for you AND him, of the obvious love and respect you have for him and the relationship you share makes me see it in a whole new light, and that it is not that different from my own dynamic (I am submissive to my Owner/Top.)
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this.
Hi Jade. So glad to hear from you and that this post really grabbed you and shed light on another perspective of cuckolding. As I mentioned above, this is why I started this blog, to bring another perspective and show what lies underneath all strong and good relationships...love and respect.
DeleteThank you for your great comment. ;)
~ Vista
Aftercare! Is that a thing?
ReplyDelete