Seeing According to Your Thoughts.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/97806172479

It's our brains that see...understanding that makes it easier to also understand that we see the world around us according to our opinions and thought patterns. Our belief system and own code of ethics. What is a sin to some is a source of freedom for another. The problem for many arises when there are so many voices speaking from society telling people what is acceptable and right. What is truth? Whether it's vanilla mainstream or alternatives lifestyles...the question is there. Different opinions of what is right, what is truth. What is acceptable so society keeps functioning and does not breakdown. Whether it's about who can marry, who can adopt, who has final authority over their own lives. It comes down to how people see the world around them. What they consider a safe, comfortable and stable society.

Cultures and different societies live and build according to what they believe. They have their own thought system that has become normal and acceptable in their culture. This effects all aspects of our lives. We bump into it whether its projected in the media, politics, school systems or religions. Sexuality seemly being the taboo subject. As if talking about it will give you STDs! It's the undercurrent that most of us are naturally drawn to, yet the voice of shame still tries to rob us of that joy and pleasure. Secrets are hidden in dark corners or the seemly safe oasis of the alternative lifestyle. 

We all do not 'see' the same! Our thoughts, actions and reactions are the culmination of the world that surrounds us and has taught us what is normal. I know what is important to me. What makes me happy. What triggers me sexually and drives me as a dominant with a submissive man. It's not going to be the same for another female dominant two doors down. Just as not every submissive man is going to trigger that drive in me to 'take him', 'want him', 'own him'. 

Is it impossible to hope for a society that could understand and accept individual thoughts and lives instead of saying, "That's out of my comfort zone, so it must be wrong." ?

We truly all live according to how we 'see' life. We have our own code of ethics, boundaries and limits. I draw to me those who are like minded. 'Like' always attracts 'like'. It makes my life flow better. And for those who can't seem to understand...it's really OK. You're welcome in my world as long as we each respect each other's 'seeing'. ;)

~ Vista

Drama is Not What I Seek!

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/51611076123/girlsrule-subsdrool-make-your-interest-known

Let me make this very LOUD and CLEAR!  I really hate drama and actually run from it and people who try to bring it into my life. Life all by it's lovely, unpredictable self brings enough drama, strife and misunderstandings every day without any aide from me. Maybe when I was young and foolish I let it influence me, but with age, hopefully, comes wisdom and I'd like to think that I've learned that peace helps me sleep better at night than the overwhelming physical repercussions of drama.

You may be asking why in the world would I choose to be in cuckold relationship with all it's emotional ups and downs?  Why?  Because it's basically built on honesty and communication. Lies, cheating behind someone's back creates drama. I'm a very pragmatic person, black & white about the things of life. Yes, passionate with the right people and partners. I love life and living it to the fullest. Which is another reason there is no room in my life for the draining qualities of drama.

Passion, yes. Intensity, pushing limits, yes! But lack of communication, hidden agendas.....No room!

I've lived a lot in my life. Experienced a lot. And know what draws me and what repels me. I'm not afraid of confrontation, but only if it is needed. Other than that, I won't waste my energy on anything I deem foolish. I love deeply and may want you passionately, but I won't fight for you. I believe in our lives being celebrated. I will celebrate you being in mine and you'll know it. And I expect to be celebrated in return. If I feel you no longer value me in your life, I will not fight to get you back. If you can't see my value on your own, then why bother.

I may mourn for a season which is healthy and needed. But I won't permanently live there. I have lost too much in the past through foolish mistakes or trying to please others. As you grow older you hopefully learn that doing what pleases you will attract those who want you near. You are authentic and will attract authentic people.

Drama is building on past hurts, emotions of pain that dig up painful memories and we find ourselves and others reacting to incidents from the past instead hearing the words of the ones now present before us.

I seek peace, wholeness, honesty and clear communication. I try each day to live fully in the present. Today will never come again. I wish to go into tomorrow whole and healthy.

I'm trying. I guess I'm just hoping others will try also.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/50181134339/msexplorer-sensual-dominant-words-to-live

Transitions and Additional Heat!

This year is proving to be an interesting year so far and it seems to already be filling with many uncertainties. A lot of changes are coming my way in the next few months and NB is going through his own transition...moving across the state into a beautiful new home that eventually, if all goes well, I'll be someday occupying with him. Until then with so many changes ahead, which I dread, I need to find some stability and direction to lean on for this year. I'm a visionary and need some idea where I am headed. And with the time between my visits with NB getting unpredictable, I decided I needed to find a local lover to calm my ever hungry appetite.  Of course NB knows all about this and is supportive.  It relieves him of some measure of guilt, I suppose, in not being as available to me as I would like at the moment.  Also it feeds his cuckold wiring to know I'm looking to find another locally to warm and satisfy my needs.

A few weeks ago I started my hunt and joined a web site I thought would fit my needs.  I'm not looking to replace NB at all.  I love that crazy, kinky man as I've loved no other in the past!  But I need to find someone exciting to occupy my time while we go through the transition this year.  I was overwhelmed with the response to my ad and waded through the 300 + emails I received in the first 48 hrs.  I narrowed it down to 11 possibilities and met with them over the following weeks. I met some really fantastic men, had great conversations and finally after almost giving up hope met one that seems promising.

Taking into account my background and lifestyle it was going to take someone that had a certain erotic curiosity, openness and one that I found physically attractive and drawn to intellectually. (One whose demons would play well with mine.)  When we first met, we sat over coffee for 4 hours.  A very good sign.  We had no idea that much time had past.  We both felt very at home with each other and had many things in common. I'm bringing this up because it looks like he may be around in my life for a while and of course may occasionally be part of this blog, with his full approval.  He is reading through my blog, finds it intriguing and is looking forward to see what will develop as we go along.

For the purposes of this blog I'm calling this new man in my life RT.  It stands for some things we have briefly discussed that he is, at this time, a little reluctant to explore. ;) I think those initials will bring a smile to both of our faces.

Unfortunately he had to go out of town right after we met, but we are using this time apart to get to know each other better through email. And of course this erotic, kinky part of my life is blatantly exposed on my blog!  ;)  Gives us plenty to discuss.

So, welcome RT to my life and whatever experiences we find that we'd like to share here on Sexual Destinies. I'm looking forward to the journey.  

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/42394951433/wicked-naughty-diva-amen

"The Invitation" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I ran across this beautiful prose today and being a little OCD at times, I researched to make sure I had the original prose.  I did find that there are some other versions out there and some that say this young Canadian women is an indian elder.  A misconception.  I have added her book that came from this prose to my Amazon book list.  I highly recommend this life giving book for your own library.

"The Invitation" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

copyright © 1999 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!  I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy. 

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.