The Crack in the Door.....

The door is cracked and I'm seeing the light in the other room. Didn't know I was locked in a shroud of my last relationship. Only able to feel and see what we were made of. My sight blocked by 'what was and had been'. Even in trying to move forward, still unconsciously looking for what I lost. It doesn't work. What I had was wrapped up in him. In us and what we built together. Never again to be found or duplicated. Finally with the door that has been opened all the time before me, my eyes have adjusted and I see the light shining from the other side. My heart finally able to have the motivation to leave behind what was and to look forward, with courage, to explore again what 'might be'. No preconceived ideas, but an understanding of myself better than I've had before and knowing what I need and want.

Of course, if and when I find that one again he will have a submissive nature wired in the midst of all that masculinity, testosterone and strength. He will love to lay it at my feet to be used at will and for my pleasure. His appetite will be what only I can satisfy. His soul will plead with me to tie him, tease him, fuck him any way I choose. His touch will be gentle when I need it to be and his love will be sealed upon me. Above all, he will want me as I am.

I'm greedy and admittedly selfish!  I've tasted how things can be.  I want it all.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/84247641714/medusa24-give-me-your-heart-i-want-your

Hello 2014! I'm Glad You're Here!

2013 was a bumpy ride emotionally and full of a long transition.  I knew going into it that it could go either way for NB and myself.  As uncertain as things looked for us at times, I wouldn't change one bump along the road.  These are the journeys that continue to form our character and lives. But I'm so thankful that year is now behind me!

I have somethings forming in my life that are making 2014 look very promising. Too premature to share them with you now, but will share once I know their place along my journey. 2014 will be full of changes. I'm looking at ways to expand and improve on this blog and I'll keep you updated on personal changes along the way.

Some things I learned in 2013:

1. That two people can love each other deeply, openly and yet feel and realize with grace that their journey together has run it's course.

2. That with a thankful heart we can move forward knowing that who we are today and what we potentially have to offer to another was forged in the fire of what we just walked out of.  I'd not change one thing.

3. That although it seems our heart could never open or want another, that there is someone waiting just for us around the corner. Someone we never knew existed who possesses qualities we never understood we needed.

4. Life has a way of presenting us magic at any age.

May all of our lives this 2014 be filled with the surprise of magic!

~ Vista

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/71556400390/haughtyspirit-always

Heart Reflections - Endings and Beginnings

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Sometimes, and come to think about it, many times, life and relationships do not go the way you thought they would in the beginning. Whether Vanilla or Kinky, we are still people with flesh and blood, hearts and souls, desires, needs and wants.  And the older we get, sometimes lots of baggage that can't seem to get unpacked! I've been taught and hold true to this life fact: To look closely at the people that cross my path in life and cherish and hold dear whatever lessons they come with. Some are meant to be friends, some lovers, some mentors and all teachers of something.

 

I find letting friends come and go in and out of my life is a natural flow that I easily accept and sometimes can anticipate our closeness coming to an end.  With lovers it all depends on the dynamic and truth that lies in the relationship. If it's filled with open communication, then there is a flow and signs that things are not going in the way you thought they would.  Those relationships seem to end with closure for both parties and hearts that heal and rebound faster...willing and able to love again.

 

Then there are some that come into your life, and you see early signs that communication will be lean. But you're a risk taker in life and you shrug off the warnings and swim in the heady, erotic pleasures that are found in the relationship. When this one ends, because the communication is lean, the closure is erratic and questions go unanswered. No amount of "I wonder, should have, or what if" is going to change what transpired. The few times I've found myself without closure, it has taken me months for my heart to take the memories that so easily flood my mind day after day and finally reconcile that it is over.  But I hang on knowing that the time will come and the memories will be cherished and lessons will be understood. I'll take the gems that were forged out of the fire of disappointment and adorn my future with their wisdom.

 

Below is a wonderful saying and truth that makes me smile! Use it in your own life for those times when you wonder, "What happened?"  And you have no answers.  "The people who want to stay in your life will always find a way!" 

 

Yes!  I truly believe that! 

 

 

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