Friday, August 30, 2013
Why I Need Him There....
Insatiable. I guess that word is as good as any in describing my hunger for hot, sexy men. I do love men in general. But what gets me warm, wet and my nipples standing erect is a beautiful, hot, sexy, hungry, submissive man dripping with desire for me. I love to play with the ebb and flow of the energy between us and the resulting ravishing of each other's body and soul. To top that all off is the psychological orgasm that builds in my mind if NB is right there to witness the exchange and maybe be forced to be involved in humiliating ways of service to prove his undying devotion to me. When he is right there, my arousal is fed by his discomfort, angst, his layers and levels of submission and increased humiliation. Me, very much in control and him, lost in being out of control. A sharing of intimacy that goes deep into the psyche of who we are as individuals.
Along with that exchange is also the component of keeping NB off balance. Never knowing when someone new may be walking into our lives or surprising him with an arrangement that will bring a new level of humiliation that I know will feed his submission, bringing him to levels of physical, mental and sexual torture. Jealousy, anger, hurt and pain aren't enough to stop the arousal that takes him over the edge. He wants to pull the other man from me, yell at the top of his lungs to 'Get Out' but he can't. His own cock betrays him and drips with pre-cum as his seed fights for release.
After all is said and done there is Aftercare. As much as I enjoy all that takes place before, it's showing NB affection, touching, kissing, holding, caring and concern for his well being that feeds and binds us together. Bringing to him emotionally and physically my love for him. He trembles under my touch and buries himself in my flesh trying to hide within me, thrusting his cock deep inside me to restore our connection. Reassuring our bond in his body, mind and soul. His warm lips wrapping around my nipple as he suckles to find comfort and nurturing from me once again. His world momentarily having spun out of control, slowly finds it's balance, settling his racing heart.
Yes, cuckolding is so much about the torment the man goes through, but it's also, for us, about the way his need feeds me. How his overwhelming desires fuel my own and empowers me in a way I have never known before. The trust NB has in me to let go of all his fears, to face what lives inside him, free from any condemnation from me, is a strength and power exchange I find intoxicating. Honesty, transparency and the freedom to share our deepest, darkest secrets with each other and sometimes play them out... Yes... I need him there. In the end, it's all about our love and commitment to each other.