When the Heart is Owned.

 

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As I journey along in this lifestyle as a single dom I'm finding many submissive men that are into the fantasy of being owned but not understanding what that may mean to the dom. And in my case, what that means to me. I've talked with men who at first seem compatible with my desires but soon it becomes clear that their long held fantasy has more of a hold on them then the reality of following through in real time. The conversation becomes littered with their wants and deepest needs. I do want to know these things. But I also need to know they want to discover the one they are asking to deliver these to them! I have said to some that they need to visit a pro dom if it's really about getting their fix or finding whether something works for them. For me it's not their money I want but their heart! I'm looking for a relationship not a business deal.

I know when I have a man's heart. I can see it in his eyes, feel it in the way he touches me, kisses me and lastly in the words he expresses to me. The language that passes between us is sometimes silent but undeniable. It reflects a knowledge that goes beyond the conscious mind and journeys into an unexplained sense of the other. This is a beauty that develops over an investment of time. The beginning of that hopefully recognized in the first moments of finding the connection that is worthy to pursue.

When that is taking root and he says, "I not only love you, but you own me. Completely.", there is evidence in his actions that backup his words. You can feel the power in his declaration as it leaves his soul. He'll do anything for you.

I've had this before and I'll not settle for less now. This time I want it forever. I've tried to go back to conventional dating; vanilla men...but there is no sense in kidding myself. There is no going back once you've tasted the essence of a man's submission. I need the dominance over his body. The freedom to use and take him at my will knowing how he hungers for each encounter. That diving into his open soul, exposing the darkness he has kept hidden that now spills out in relief to be embrace by one who treasures his secrets.

This I hunger for. This I need completely. This I want to own.

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Behind the Whip: Book Review

Maria Coletsis from Vancouver, traveled around the world to create Behind the Whip: Dominatrix Portraits and Words.  Here you'll find a book full of photos and interviews with strong, adventurous women that are part of the rich and varied sexuality of a multi-racial group. Behind the Whip reveals the human women behind the glamorous images who work with pain and pleasure.

Maria set out to document how the contemporary dominatrix is seen by her clients.  This blog, Sexual Destinies, is about finding how we are sexually wired and why.  This book, Behind the Whip, runs along the same train of thought in exploring how clients come to a dominatrix to really find themselves and release some of the burdens and stress of their lives.   They find a place where they can reveal their deepest desires without shame or ridicule. Clients find acceptance, a balance of power, therapy and role playing of some of their fondest fantasies.

The words of these women and their photographs will provide a fascinating background to the appeal of the domination and reinforce the idea that they are more than mere providers of glamorous erotic fantasy.

Inside each book is a hidden treasure - a DVD with a 28-minute documentary film about the making of the book. It's possible to buy the book on its own from stores, but order online and get the DVD as well!

Behind the Whip book and DVD costs $39.95.  You may view a video trailer and order the book at www.behindthewhip.com