The Problem with Denial is Denial.

Noun -Denial:

• The failure to acknowledge an unacceptable truth or emotion or to admit it into consciousness, used as a defense mechanism. 

I'm not sure when I became a master at this defense mechanism or why. It must have been very early in my life. When my mother suddenly died when I was 10 I had already learned how to subconsciously clothed myself in denial. That day I was sent to a neighbor's house while the ambulance carried my mother away. I played that day as if nothing had happened and didn't grieve over her loss until I was 26. I have since lost others who have been close to me and called myself a survivor after each one. Looking back over my life denial also kept me from confronting problems until they were so insurmountable they couldn't be ignored. Swift judgement would then be cast and carried out. Always surviving, so I thought.

I didn't realize my insensitivity to subtleties of a problem or my disconnect in a relationship when they were evident was the work of denial in my life. A white washing in order to not face another disappointment. Thinking that I was being generous to let people work through their issues on their own. Later I would kick myself for not being more 'present' and aware. For not being fearless to take the chance to talk through things and hopefully salvage what good was still there. I was fearless in many other areas of my life. Why not when it came to issues of my heart?

You'd think with maturity, experience and wisdom an understanding of the importance of paying attention to subtle warning signs would be acknowledged. But the problem with denial is itself DENIAL.

There's a hope when you enter a relationship. A hope that the words spoken to each other will hold up over time. That lust, passion, desire, respect and eventually love will keep hearts honest and communication open. But that is how I look at things when a foundation is being formed. Denial comes into play when the other person doesn't see things or operate according to my way of thinking. Denial sweeps away the feeling that emotions are shifting, desire is changing and denial says they are just having an off day. Give them some space. Because if things weren't working they'd tell me right? Because they want this to work also right? Because that's what I would do. Right?

Denial! A light has been cast into your dark abode! I do not have the full comprehension of how deep your tentacles have rooted in my soul.  But hear me now. I am fearless and my face has been turned towards you.

Our Lives are Written on Our Soul.

~Vista~

We are Moving!

Yep! Finally took the leap and Sexual Destinies is moving to its own site! Time to grow up and join the big leagues! We are still in the process of building the other blog on Word Press. Gawd... I am going to miss working in Blogger ... it was sooo easy! Now I have to learn all over again! So this may be in the works for a few weeks as I learn my way around their dashboard. If any one has any suggestions and knowledge on Word Press pass it along please!

I did find a lovely submissive here locally who has helped me to move to another server and he even transferred my data! What a gem! I owe him... a lot. His wish list will be enjoyable to fulfill! xxxooo

The new URL:  http://www.sexualdestinies.com/

It's a bit of a mess right now.. so I'll continue to blog here until the transfer is done. Thank you to all of my followers! I sincerely hope I don't lose any of you in the move!

I'll keep everyone posted of the progress!

Hugs,

~ Vista

Vista

To All the Daddies...Happy Father's Day!

Fathers: Always remember that many eyes are following you as you move throughout your day.

Your sons are learning how you handle adversity.
Your daughters are learning how you touch the one you love.
Your sons are learning how you use your voice when instructing.
Your daughters are learning how you use your voice within your emotions.
Your sons are learning that you follow through on your commitments.
Your daughters are learning about trust and honor.
Your sons are learning about humility and strength.
Your daughters are learning they can conquer anything when self worth is validated.
Your sons are learning how to walk with the one they love.
Your daughters are learning from you the rhythm of that walk.

Happy Father's Day.

xxoo ~ Vista

~Vista~

Chasing Orgasms

Morning light filters through the blinds across the bed. It's hours before daily obligations will beckon me to their locale. I'm sprawled across the clean crisp sheets with a cup of coconut oil by my side. I dip my fingers into the cool white thick substance and at contact with my skin the oil immediately warms and liquefies. The action of my fingers gently touching the hood of my clit acts like a primer and my own juices start to flow mixing with the delicious slick oil.

With my eyes closed and a soft breeze floating across my bare sultry flesh a parade of past lovers come to view. My fingers dance around the outline of my wanting puss, slipping and sliding easily between the curve where my inner thighs meet her fleshy lips. Teasing and brushing lightly at her opening, desire builds. The chase has begun.

The memory of a passionate lover with wandering fingers and a ravenous mouth makes my fingers flicker as I remember his touch and attention. I can almost smell him and my fingers seem to hold the memory of his movements. Or is it the memory of my delighted pussy that is guiding the way? At that moment I don't care who is in control. I only want to savor the journey of the chase. I can feel the pulsing of the first orgasm building. My clit stands erect and I swear sometimes she acts as if she's a cock wanting to penetrate a warm soft place. The fullness builds inside me, pushing toward that delicious peak...the top of that mountain that holds her release. My fingers are a blur as I climb higher and she pushes against my hand harder, fingers probing and sliding everywhere. Electricity shoots through my clit as a gush of my juices flows over my now slow moving fingers. Softly they stroke along the sides of my inner lips as waves of warmth and endorphins wash over my frame. I take my time coming back down from the top of the mountain. Indulging in the satisfaction of the first climax. As my mind begins to clear, my fingers continue to gently explore. I can feel there are at least two more orgasms to be drawn out.

Another lover comes to view and my fingers find their rhythm again. A bit softer this time as the need and hunger slowly builds. I can feel the tingling and excitement as the next orgasm makes it way from its hidden place. They call out to me to discover where in my vagina they lurk. It's a beautiful and exciting chase as I entice them one by one from their dwelling place.

Answers and Comments on Fantasy and Addiction.

"Oh, rats. I am so sorry. Boys! (Throws hands up in air, shaking his head in futility)."  

This was the first line in the first comment I received. I knew from that point forward I was in for a lovely time of reading thoughts and explanations from my male followers. I will add tidbits from some of what they shared, because their words are real, enlightening and powerful. Just as they are. ;)

I will also add that I realize there are people that suffer from sexual addictions and I'm not here to shame or diminish their battle. Addictions are about compulsive behaviors that can take over your life affecting better judgement no matter what the cost to you or those around you. I understand that. The questions I put to my male followers were about finding and being reassured that there are men who are part of an online community who can walk the line between Kink and Vanilla and live a balanced life. Enjoying the rewards of both. There are many and with that knowledge I happily move forward.

And me? I'm good! Yes, I think about the boy but with very kind and loving thoughts hoping nothing but the very best for him and his life. And when that door abruptly closed another two days later opened up here locally and well...you'll have to wait to see how that plays out. ::wink::

The Answers and Comments:

1. Am I only a fantasy to you? For many I know that's true. And I'm 'ok' with that. But if you had the chance for more would you take it?

** "You are not a fantasy, which would be something entirely of my own creation. You are a real live person. ...I recognize that it is a fantasy to imagine that you saw photographs of me and within a week I was re-creating those photographs for you in person.....You are a real person who realizes that not all that we want can join us in reality and needs must remain a fantasy..."

** "Long answer: no. But I do like to fantasize about being with you but I know the difference between fantasy and reality. I like my fantasies about you and I like my reality with you; both are cool."

** "Of course I read your writings because they touch on my fantasies and enter a very lonely place where they help me to come to terms with myself. Would I take a chance on more if it was possible? Why on earth not?"


2. Is sex an addiction for you? Or have you found a balance to enjoy what you desire and still live a responsible life?

** "No, I wouldn't say I was addicted to sex. It has a place, and that place is hot but it doesn't compel me to do anything I would regret."

** "No. But I know the feeling. There have been times when I was horny as hell that I would find myself really distracted by sexy thoughts and willing to take a lot of risks to get satisfaction. ...Balancing our public image with our wild sexual nature takes a lot of time. "

** "Sex is not an addiction to me in the sense that I'm a fully-rounded person with interests, beliefs, commitments, work, pastimes and rich memories and I amount to much more than my Eros. On the other hand, sex is an important part of my waking and dreaming life and once gone, I would feel enormously impoverished."

I'll close in saying I love my life and the choices I have made along with the people who inhabit my world. Some are for a short season and others continue to gently whisper in my ear along the path. Life is about learning, exploring, embracing and growing. But above all of that...loving; yourself and those who choose to walk with you.

Thank you to all my male and female friends who are walking with me in this exciting journey called life. May you continue to live it openly with those you love, lustfully and honestly!

xxoo

~Vista~

Saturday Eye Candy!

To celebrate Saturdays and that we all need a diversion or two, here are a few of my a favorite Eye Candy today from my tumblr site Sexual Destinies!

Special Valentine's Day Edition.

~Vista~

My kind of Candy! 

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/110901402199

This to my special Fire Fighter in SF!  Miss you!  xxxooo

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/110901327199/hecallsmemissy-i-love-my-daddy-fireman

2015...Taste and Know it's Good!

Vista

2014 was full of transitions, health issues and new discoveries! It flew by with many changes in my life and is ending with beauty and stability. Don't want to live through it again but I do love the results.

I understand myself and the direction I desire for my life going into 2015. I'm excited and you may see some subtle changes on this blog as 2015 unfolds. My writing will still be filling these pages, along with images of beautiful men. That will never change!  ;)

That being said I am opening up my 'Saturday Eye Candy' to all of my lovely male followers to please submit to me any images they have during 2015 as possibilities for that weekly feature! You can easily submit those pics to my Tumblr or email me.

Be safe this last evening of 2014. I want you all around tomorrow! Your life is ALWAYS the result of the choices you make on a day to day basis. You are the architect of your life. Grab hold of that responsibility and enjoy the ride ahead that awaits you. Life is yours!

TASTE AND KNOW IT'S GOOD!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of my lovely and sexy followers! Hope your day is full of love, laughter and orgasms!!!!

I'm waiting for this to be delivered to my door! All of it! Where is that UPS man!!!

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/106157131174

In Need of a Warm Climate!

                                                        

The holidays are upon us. Thanksgiving behind and Christmas ahead with decorated trees, holiday music, malls filled with busy shoppers and 2015 knocking at the door. Where did the year go! I have writing projects with deadlines I need to meet and personal goals I'm still wanting to achieve. :: sigh ::

There were some ups and downs with my health this year, but all of that is behind me. I'm doing good, working on doing even better going into the new year.

BUT...I do not like being COLD!  I'm thankful the Pacific Northwest has mild seasons. But I'm in dire need of sunshine and warmth!

~ Vista