When I think of shadows I think of someone being guarded from the light. From the heat of discovery...but yet feeling the indirect warmth of the sun against his human form. Not quite hidden. There are small parts of the body visible, but only a trained eye could make it out. He feels safe there in the shadows, but also somehow involved in the activity he seeks. Vicariously he lives through his imagination, projecting himself into a reality of what is before him. Soon the watching isn't enough and vocally he makes himself known. Inch by inch he moves slowly into the light. He's encouraged by a hand reaching out to him, offering assistance and direction.
He's lived so long with his fantasies that the light of exposure to his nature unmasked to another is frightening. Some find the compatible guide for their need and a journey begins of self discovery and acceptance. Some never find that guide. Others rarely leave the shelter of the shadows. The existence of the later group is lonely and their true identity hidden from the world. Those are the ones who put themselves in danger because they become a victim to the need and desire that continues to build until they rush out of the shadows with reckless abandon looking for any fix; at whatever cost. Later with head hanging down and soul empty they crawl back into the shadows. Any satisfaction dissipates quickly as once again humiliation and disgust settles in with the reality that they have placed themselves in danger for what they consider a base need. When the sun starts to set, the temperature in the shadows drops farther then it does for the rest of the world. So it seems. Isolated, cold and alone they swear never again to risk exposure. But their history knows better. There will be another time.
Some call these marks of life the traits of addiction. In this case sexual addiction. Is there really such a thing? Could the truth possibly be that not all people fit into what society calls the social norm? And that while trying to 'Fit In' they lose themselves? They already feel an outsider and fear keeps them from risking more rejection in seeking those who would accept them. Is this why the shadows are more desirable than speaking and discovering truths? More desirable than seeking those in their lives that would give them a secure place to dwell in the sun light? Is this not what a healthy life is about? To seek those who will say, "I accept all that you are and you are welcome here" ? Is that not the premise of an alternative lifestyle? And why do we even need an alternative? Who has defined 'normal'?
Communication without judgement, listening and hearing others; that to me is the sunlight. Openness, acceptance, wisdom, learning and the understanding of why we are the way we are; these are the true treasures of wealth. Finding a place to live a life full of the true expression of who lives within us. This kind of freedom releases creativity and brilliance because the whole person has emerged. Is that not a desire common among mankind? And if it isn't? Why isn't it?
Some say it is brave to think and live that way. I say life is too short to not live your own life. If you don't discover and live the fullness of who you are, who will? The world is waiting for YOU to show up. With all your beautiful flaws and uniqueness. Not a carbon copy of others. But YOU. Let's be brave together. Let us help each other out of the shadows.
Comfort ~ Acceptance ~ Wholeness
http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/99914209529/after-his-release-his-head-finds-its-home-resting
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