Friday, January 9, 2015

Earned Surrender.

I sometimes consider time my enemy. But when it comes to developing a relationship, time is my friend. When elements of D/s are part of that developing stage, time really is my friend! I seek intensity, passion, knowledge of a man's soul and desire for my company. There is nothing casual about how I go about developing a relationship. It's an investment of my time and energy both of which are highly valuable! And he should feel the same when it comes to his investment in me.

I have lost track of how many times I have heard of the shallow connection that couples allow to infect a once passionate union. The heat that brought them together has cooled under the weight of living day to day under bills, raising a family and commitments they have made to others. A faded memory takes the place of the hunger that never seemed to be satisfied, always leaving them continually hungry for each other. In that vacuum fantasies rise and the human heart longs for capturing once again a fire that makes them feel alive. Unless there is acceptance and love creating a safe place to share those fantasies a heart will search elsewhere. Such is the need of the human soul to feel passion and desire. With age comes the knowledge that true intimacy is being fully known. To be known is to be vulnerable and embraced completely.

To be vulnerable and embraced completely takes time. That's why time in that environment is my friend. Vulnerability needs to be on both sides. A dominant learning the communication style of her submissive and willing to be vulnerable in expressing her desires, needs and unfolding expectations. I say unfolding because each relationship is unique and for me the expectations evolve over time as the knowledge of each other increases.

All of this sets the foundation of Earned Surrender. Mutual respect and trust is the corner stone on which that foundation is laid. Pleasing one another, exploring and discovering the treasures, dark caves and bright spots. Seeing the weakness that lies in us all and embracing it with strength. As a dominant knowing there will be many times I want him to rise up and hold me, run his knowing hands over me, inside me and claim me as his own during times of emotional struggles on my part. The humanity between us never forgotten.

He feels my mouth, hands and fingers exploring him inside and out. His body reaches up for my touch begging me for more; to own him more, to take him more, to claim him more. My need for him grows as he opens up physically and emotionally filling my soul with his light and darkness. His revealing eyes express what many times his mouth is unable to speak.

This is the reward of time well spent. An ongoing surrender of souls between two and a commitment to keep the passion fresh with intimate knowledge.



  1. Wow..your thoughts and knowledge are so totally on the Mark, and your words...incredible, (i had to read IT for a couple days, just to take IT all in). There are so many things about a d/s relationship that you have such clarity of, as well as the heart and mind of a submissive. Acceptance and love, because of... Not in spite of. You mentioned trust being the corner stone, for me acceptance, and her willingness and desire, to reach inside, take hold, her desire to know.. That is the Rock of trust, love and the point where his desire is only her.... Mis. Vista, your words are very powerful, because they are real....thank you. Mark

    1. Thank you so very much for a glowing message! It always does my heart good to hear confirmation of what I feel so deeply also being in the heart of others. Your words brought a smile to my face and warmed my heart.

      ~ Vista


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