Thursday, November 22, 2012

Passion and the Need of Touch.

Touch has it's own language and leaves its own pathway along our brain and soul. I use to work with troubled youth in school districts and because of our society and culture these days you were not allowed to touch or give them a hug.  You could ask them for permission but even that was frowned upon.  The decision, because of liability issues, was that you could help, heal, comfort without touching them. Even reaching out to hold a hand was questioned. Being the rebel I am and a very big hugger, I was always hugging, after asking their permission first.  Because I know unless there is human touch there is no lasting connection.  Good touch, over time, can erase the markings of bad touch or lack of touch in someone's life.

Touching whether sexual or non sexual is bonding.  We either repel from the bond trying to be created or we welcome and allow it to touch our soul. A tender touch from a caring soul can unleash a flood of tears you were not aware was lurking behind your eyes and break the damn within your heart.

Touch awakens passion within us.  It starts to trigger our senses and reminds us we are alive. Nerve endings stir, and in a sexual setting, arousal stirs and our bodies start to relax and excite at the same time as we flow into the sea of passion.

There wasn't a lot of touching from my parents when I was growing up.  It was the time when children were 'seen and not heard' and we seemed to be more ornaments in the home than living beings. I craved 'touch' and when I had my own children I poured out my affection all over them! We are a very touchy family. My middle daughter's nickname is 'Kitten' because she would crawl up on my lap, cuddle into me and ask me to rub her back and play with her hair. Even to this day, as an adult, she'll do that!  I do honestly believe that this is how my 'petting' fetish developed!  ;)

Recently while in Las Vegas with NB we were watching a live show and I was snuggled up to him with my right arm and hand along side his left. After a while he leaned over to me and said, "You've been 'petting' me for the last 20 mins."  I was totally unaware of what I was doing and of course it was starting to get to him! We talked about my 'petting' fetish after and I realized that for me, it brought me comfort and a feeling of connection as I was enjoying our time together.

Touch is critical in my life.  I have ended relationships when it wasn't there in the way I've needed it.  It's a form of non verbal communication that sometimes says so much more than words can convey. In my life it's wrapped up in the passion that lies inside me and expresses the emotional state of my heart and soul. If you reject my touch, you reject my core being.  It's like a knife cutting through the depths of my heart.

I have lived a lot of my life surrounded by pain and death in my life journey. Life is too short to deny the basic human needs that live within each of us. To close our eyes to what we need deep inside and deny passion is a loss to all. There is great beauty to be found in life and those who embrace passion and recognize the healing power of a human touch seem to find it easier than others. But passion lies within all of us.

I came across this quote below from Joss Whedon on my Tumblr a few days ago.

"Passion.  It lies in all of us. Sleeping...waiting...and though unwanted, unbidden, it will its jaws and howl.  It speaks to us...guides us.  Passion rules us all.  And we obey.  What other choice do we have?  Passion is the source of our finest moments.  The joy of love...the clarity of hatred...the ecstasy of grief.  It hurts sometimes more than we can bear.  If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace.  But we would be hollow.  Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead."
~ Joss Whedon ( Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Another form of 'petting' I enjoy.......


  1. Petting - very, very important!

  2. Oh la la!!!! Meow!

  3. Well said. thanks for that. I have tried to be touchy also. In fact I sometimes see some men backing away from me when I put a hand on a shoulder, meaning some do not like that much touching. And I would never touch a woman without a pretty clear invitation.

    1. Mmmmmm.. Good to know about your 'touching 'ways. ;)

      ~ Vista


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