Let me make this very LOUD and CLEAR! I really hate drama and actually run from it and people who try to bring it into my life. Life all by it's lovely, unpredictable self brings enough drama, strife and misunderstandings every day without any aide from me. Maybe when I was young and foolish I let it influence me, but with age, hopefully, comes wisdom and I'd like to think that I've learned that peace helps me sleep better at night than the overwhelming physical repercussions of drama.
You may be asking why in the world would I choose to be in cuckold relationship with all it's emotional ups and downs? Why? Because it's basically built on honesty and communication. Lies, cheating behind someone's back creates drama. I'm a very pragmatic person, black & white about the things of life. Yes, passionate with the right people and partners. I love life and living it to the fullest. Which is another reason there is no room in my life for the draining qualities of drama.
Passion, yes. Intensity, pushing limits, yes! But lack of communication, hidden agendas.....No room!
I've lived a lot in my life. Experienced a lot. And know what draws me and what repels me. I'm not afraid of confrontation, but only if it is needed. Other than that, I won't waste my energy on anything I deem foolish. I love deeply and may want you passionately, but I won't fight for you. I believe in our lives being celebrated. I will celebrate you being in mine and you'll know it. And I expect to be celebrated in return. If I feel you no longer value me in your life, I will not fight to get you back. If you can't see my value on your own, then why bother.
I may mourn for a season which is healthy and needed. But I won't permanently live there. I have lost too much in the past through foolish mistakes or trying to please others. As you grow older you hopefully learn that doing what pleases you will attract those who want you near. You are authentic and will attract authentic people.
Drama is building on past hurts, emotions of pain that dig up painful memories and we find ourselves and others reacting to incidents from the past instead hearing the words of the ones now present before us.
I seek peace, wholeness, honesty and clear communication. I try each day to live fully in the present. Today will never come again. I wish to go into tomorrow whole and healthy.
I'm trying. I guess I'm just hoping others will try also.
Wise words. I was born into a family and a culture in which drama was a way of life. It made for a lot of unhappiness as a child, and a lot of confusion as a young man.
ReplyDeleteOne of the good things about getting older is that you achieve a degree of serenity.
May I be very presumptuous and question your use of the word 'pragmatic'?
Pragmatism is normally what's used to temper fixed ideological 'black and white' belief systems, not to support them.
I've always seen myself and the description of the word 'pragmatic' as dealing with things sensibly and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical considerations. A 'matter-of-fact' or Black & White way of thinking in most things and areas of life. As having a pragmatic approach to a problem rather than an emotional dramatic one that isn't based on facts but on opinions and/or past wounds.
DeleteIf only we could see things more clear when we are younger. But such is mankind and the way of life.
~ Vista
Did something happen to provoke this post?
ReplyDeleteNo. Nothing happened. ;) Just a momentary breakdown in communication that happens at times in relationships and among family members. I have some people in my life that tend to thrive on drama. :)
DeleteNB and I are fine. I do know when he is reacting to something I actually said and meant or being triggered into a past situation because of a comment I make. These are things we all work on. Being present with the person we are with, hearing them and not a voice in the past.
It's work. No matter what the relationships, to have a honest and transparent relationship. I think we all deserve that in our lives. I believe that's why I choose to have this relationship with NB. It's work, but forces you to be transparent or else it will break down.
My best to you two!
~ Vista