Answers and Comments on Fantasy and Addiction.

"Oh, rats. I am so sorry. Boys! (Throws hands up in air, shaking his head in futility)."  

This was the first line in the first comment I received. I knew from that point forward I was in for a lovely time of reading thoughts and explanations from my male followers. I will add tidbits from some of what they shared, because their words are real, enlightening and powerful. Just as they are. ;)

I will also add that I realize there are people that suffer from sexual addictions and I'm not here to shame or diminish their battle. Addictions are about compulsive behaviors that can take over your life affecting better judgement no matter what the cost to you or those around you. I understand that. The questions I put to my male followers were about finding and being reassured that there are men who are part of an online community who can walk the line between Kink and Vanilla and live a balanced life. Enjoying the rewards of both. There are many and with that knowledge I happily move forward.

And me? I'm good! Yes, I think about the boy but with very kind and loving thoughts hoping nothing but the very best for him and his life. And when that door abruptly closed another two days later opened up here locally and well...you'll have to wait to see how that plays out. ::wink::

The Answers and Comments:

1. Am I only a fantasy to you? For many I know that's true. And I'm 'ok' with that. But if you had the chance for more would you take it?

** "You are not a fantasy, which would be something entirely of my own creation. You are a real live person. ...I recognize that it is a fantasy to imagine that you saw photographs of me and within a week I was re-creating those photographs for you in person.....You are a real person who realizes that not all that we want can join us in reality and needs must remain a fantasy..."

** "Long answer: no. But I do like to fantasize about being with you but I know the difference between fantasy and reality. I like my fantasies about you and I like my reality with you; both are cool."

** "Of course I read your writings because they touch on my fantasies and enter a very lonely place where they help me to come to terms with myself. Would I take a chance on more if it was possible? Why on earth not?"


2. Is sex an addiction for you? Or have you found a balance to enjoy what you desire and still live a responsible life?

** "No, I wouldn't say I was addicted to sex. It has a place, and that place is hot but it doesn't compel me to do anything I would regret."

** "No. But I know the feeling. There have been times when I was horny as hell that I would find myself really distracted by sexy thoughts and willing to take a lot of risks to get satisfaction. ...Balancing our public image with our wild sexual nature takes a lot of time. "

** "Sex is not an addiction to me in the sense that I'm a fully-rounded person with interests, beliefs, commitments, work, pastimes and rich memories and I amount to much more than my Eros. On the other hand, sex is an important part of my waking and dreaming life and once gone, I would feel enormously impoverished."

I'll close in saying I love my life and the choices I have made along with the people who inhabit my world. Some are for a short season and others continue to gently whisper in my ear along the path. Life is about learning, exploring, embracing and growing. But above all of that...loving; yourself and those who choose to walk with you.

Thank you to all my male and female friends who are walking with me in this exciting journey called life. May you continue to live it openly with those you love, lustfully and honestly!

xxoo

~Vista~