Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Book Review - Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray & the Men Who Love Them.

There are books on the market that try to bring an explanation to the cuckold lifestyle. Some are good and from real life experiences and some are only buying in on the trend that seems to be increasing and looking to make quick cash. I see this increasing as this way of life for some couples becomes more exposed. I'm not a fan of the 'hotwife' trend and terminology only because of most of what is posted on the internet runs along the more 'kinky' aspect rather than what goes on in a relationship. The problem that causes is for some couples who have poor communication and find their marriages struggling thinking that this trend would be an answer and fix.  It's not.  In fact, in a relationship where there is strain and lack of trust and communication this lifestyle would be a sure silver bullet and bring death.

What is important in any relationship, whether it's vanilla or alternative, is honest, vulnerable communication.

David J Ley published in 2012, Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them. He started out curious about the cuckold lifestyle and not sure if he would find anything positive about the subject.  But as he researched history, current trends and interviewed many couples in the lifestyle he arrived at a more balanced opinion and even became supportive for those who are truly cut out for this, find it works for them and results in healthy strong relationships.

Again, this is only a working solution for a small percentage of the population who can handle the emotional dance and roller-coaster of emotions involved.  For those who master that ride and dance it can become heaven on earth.  ;)

Here are some of the excepts from Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them:

  • "Many husbands I interviewed described similar feelings, and explained their desires to watch their wives with other men, saying that they prefer to watch their wive's faces during sex.  If all they wanted was to see genitalia and sexual intercourse, they'd watch pornography.  "What is important to me is to watch the face of the woman I love enjoying herself." Chapter 4 - Interview with Michael and Janice, EB location 2050.
  • Violet Gordon Woodhouse, one of the greatest pianists of the early years of the twentieth century, lived for decades with not one, but four husbands. . ...their unique arrangement was interrupted by World War 1,  and never returned to this polyamorous stability. Chapter 5, EB location 2283
  • Indeed, couples who are able to pursue this lifestyle successfully for long periods of time tend to have extremely healthy relationships, and extraordinary patterns of communication within their marriage. Chapter 11- EB Location 4605

David J Ley does an excellent job in covering, in depth, the subject of cuckold relationships that have been around for centuries. If you love research, you'll appreciate the time he spent in researching history, lives and cultures.  How cuckolding has been woven through it all in one way or another.  He covers the hotwife trend, swinging, any non-monogamous relationship and what researchers have to say is the cause etc. And on the cause, many can not say why.  There are many reasons we become wired the way we are. For many, they can't point to one thing that changed for them and then there are those who understand why they have this need.

I agree with most of this book.  It's well rounded and covers the subject of cuckolding extremely well.  You'll find it listed on my Amazon 'I Recommend' book list.


  1. Ha! I picked this book up to look at it about a month ago. I found it to be a bit stiff (no pun intended) and dull. It was, probably, the objective approach to the topic and the whole interview process. I find the blogs I read (yours is on the top of the list) to be much more interesting and informed.

    1. If someone is looking for a book to tantalize them on this subject they will be disappointed. I agree it can be stiff (lol) and dull in places as he goes into history etc. Myself being a teacher at heart and a writer I love research and history, so for me I found it a good resource to bring some understanding that this is not something new to our culture and generation but has been part of mankind for centuries.

      I also find it fascinating when someone from the outside looks at this lifestyle and gives it a fair and objective assessment.

      Thank you for enjoying this blog. I've tried to make it educational along with entertaining with some real life posts thrown in for good measure. I recommend your blog often as I find it also at the top of the list out there. ;)

      NB and I are in Vegas this week having a wonderful, naughty time. Our best to you and Lo!

      ~ Vista


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