Thursday, January 23, 2014

Sexual Compatibility!

No matter what the relationship is: Vanilla, F/m, M/f, M/s, BDSM, D/s or any gender blend; what holds a relationship together as a foundation is friendship. Enjoying the company of the other person, even if you're just 'hanging out' doing nothing special at all. You just enjoy their company. You feel relaxed and yourself in their presence. Laughter comes easy and you are blissfully unaware of any insecurities, weaknesses and failures you may have of yourself. Mix this with sexual compatibility and you have something priceless! Friendship is the foundation but sexual compatibility is an important building block that determines how high that fortress you are building goes.

The nurturing, trust and openness that comes from a strong friendship clears the way for communication that exposes all the dark and suppressed secrets. Here is where sexual compatibility is discovered and a beautiful journey begins that can last for many years.

I know of so many couples, especially married couples, that stay together for children or financial reasons but have found that they are not sexually compatible and at least one, if not both people, are lonely and suffering in the same house. I have been there and it is the loneliest of existence. So with experience under my belt I have learned and am determined in my soul to not find myself in that situation again.  The only way to ensure that is to live an honest and authentic life.

Two people meet and lust colors their attraction and sometimes out of fear of losing the other one agrees and goes along with their wants and desires or the other holds back on revealing their wants and desires out of fear of turning the other away. Fear of revealing our true nature will eventually destroy any intimacy that has developed. Compromising our sexual needs, desires and thinking 'love' is enough will eventually leave you thirsty and hungry for what you have been denied. You are no longer validated as important.  Your voice and needs remain unheard, unmet.

We must know ourselves and be honest with ourselves and others.  It's just not worth it to hide out of fear of discovery!  Your peace, happiness and fulfillment are yours to have. Live fully as the person you were meant to be.

If you're in a committed relationship already that is unsatisfying I'm not saying to abandon the ship! You have chosen your path and need to own up to it and live it out.  But if ever given the opportunity again to live according to the truth of who you are, then do it!  Until then, be honest with the partner you have and try to make it work in all transparency.

To those who are single.... Don't ever settle. The worst thing in life is to end up with someone who makes you feel alone. It's better to be alone and true to yourself than to live half of a life. I believe that once you know who you are and what you want, that the laws of attraction kick in and bring those of the same desires into your life.

I am hopeful for the future. We are all wired sexually in a unique way. It's the magic of finding those who are wired in a complementary way that brings the level of intimacy that I at least must have! I'm a passionate soul and must have that returned in a partner, plus much more! I love this saying below.  Intimacy born out of knowing and full surrender... Mmmmmmmmm

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