Monday, June 8, 2015

That Demon...Sexual Chemistry!

Pheromones: A Chemical substance produced and released into the environment by an animal, especially a mammal or an insect, affecting the behavior or physiology of others of its species.

There are four types of chemistry: Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual. How great it would be to experience all four with someone. But rare and unlikely. My top three would be Physical, Mental and Emotional. My top two: Mental and Emotional. Yes...I left out Physical because I have found when the physical isn't there in the beginning but the mental and emotional are there the physical will follow as the relationship deepens.

In my younger years physical chemistry was all that mattered. A case in point is the father of my three children. The chemistry was off the charts and still lingers between us when we are in the same room after 35 years. But the physical chemistry was not enough to hold together a doomed marriage when nothing else clicked between us. Six years was long enough to have three beautiful babies. I still believe our bodies just knew they were to procreate together! ;)

It took maturity on my part to understand the importance for me of Mental and Emotional chemistry. A lesson and truth I didn't fully understand until I met NB. My ex sub. We had been talking on the phone for almost six weeks before we finally met face to face. Yes we had exchanged pictures but at that first meeting he was not someone I would have been immediately attracted to. He is a big man 6'4" and a bit overweight. He overpowered me in his stature when I stood next to him. If I had met him for the first time in that bar without knowing who he was deep inside I would not have given him much thought. But as big as he was on the outside he was even bigger as a man on the inside and that was the powerful magnetic force that pulled me towards him. The Mental and Emotional chemistry. Over time the Physical and Spiritual chemistry emerged. He was beautiful to me in every way. He'll always live in my heart.

Chemistry is that magic in the air and unmistakable euphoric feeling that washes over you when the object of your affection is in your presence or even your thoughts. You have an overwhelming desire to be close to them, touch them, kiss them...hell, devour them! Sometimes it starts out slow as the relationship develops, but more often it's an instant feeling that makes you dizzy and disrupts the neurotransmitters in your brain! It's more lethal than passion and more powerful than lust. You connect with an the energy matching yours and sexual endorphins are released. What's hard is when you are feeling that connection and the other person does not. I've been on both sides of that coin and neither is welcomed. It happens...hence why I call it a demon! It has a mind of its own with little consideration of what you are looking for!

As I journey through life connection and chemistry remain an important deciding factor on whether further investment of my time will be spent. How I wish I could bend the will of that demon chemistry! Experience has proven physical chemistry alone is fickle and not enough. Out of the four I have learned to trust the Mental and Emotional connection. They seem to be the more stable out of the four! But what do I know! I'm still searching.  ::Smile::

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